The Art Of Self-Medicating

No, I am not talking about popping pills or using other drugs.  That would be easy short term and extremely sticky long term for souls that are in the business of personal evolution and karma clearing.

What I am talking about is using the world around you to balance yourself.

How do you do that?

Well, think of it this way everything has a frequency. Every song, every sport, every coffee shop, every book etc is unique in its energetic make-up.

Let's say you wake up very depressed, sad and you feel very ungrounded. After you’ve completed your mandatory 30-minute-pity-party and you have checked your gauges to make sure you are alert to any messages your system is sending you, what do you do?

You might consider scouting for the things in your environment that are uplifting and grounding. Dance, certain kinds of music, a walk in nature, a cup of tea with friends are all potential possibilities to harmonize your energy field.

If you are really angry, you could choose an activity like boxing, running, screaming in your car with heavy metal music blasting in order to safely release some steam. Personally, I refrain, as much as possible, from any action and activity that create more karmic entanglements, like taking out my anger on fellow travelers!

In the case of stress and tension meditation, yoga and relaxing music can go a long way.

You might also consider aromatherapy, flower essences, other form of workouts, movies and medicinal teas.

Often times we are stuck on auto-pilot, when we make our daily choices. We overlook many things that are readily available for self-medicating purposes.

Take a moment, breathe, and see what might support you today in your attempt to achieve a greater sense of peace and balance.

Says Who?

When it comes to authority, there are those we blindly give our power to.

The other day, I had a lady at my house for a session. She was utterly distressed about a message she had received from a very famous intuitive. The message didn't resonate with her at all, but considering the source she felt confident that the predicted event would surely take place. This is not the first time this has happened. Many people give their power away to authorities of spiritual, religious, medical or other expertly nature. And that is how we end up following pathways that are not in alignment with our souls.

"I got married and had children, because that is what my parents and peers expected of me. It didn't feel right, but what can you do? I didn't want to be a disappointment."

"One has to drink alcohol at these kind of events. It would look weird if I didn't. I don't want to be ridiculed."

"I have this dream of traveling the world, but my spiritual advisor said no, so I won't go."

There are countless moments when we go against our instincts due to negativity from a source of authority.

My advice is the following:

Listen carefully to any counsel given. See if it resonates for you. If it doesn't, question the source. We are all human and nobody has all the answers. In the end, you have to trust your own intuition and allow it to override any external source.

Remember, this world is a big illusion, things and people aren't always what they appear to be. The 'devil' could appear in any form, and so could an 'angel'. Therefore discernment is absolutely necessary, when navigating the sometimes, treacherous waters of planet earth.

Helpful Tools 2.Detox

One of the most important lessons I have learned regarding life in the modern world is the necessity to regularly detoxify my physical body. It is difficult to live life in an urban environment and to stay unaffected, even if you are eating healthy and taking good care of yourself.

My first encounter with a toxicity problem occurred when I was fifteen years old. I had severe stomach cramps for a year and a half. The pain was so bad that I would sometimes topple over. I could barely eat anything and when I did I developed painful hives. Dozens of medical tests revealed nothing. I had tubes and cameras invading my system for nothing. The doctor’s conclusion was that I was an overemotional teenager who just wanted attention. I was lucky enough that my parents knew that wasn't part of my behavioral vocabulary and took the pain seriously. After a year and a half, we ended up at a holistic practitioner, who used kinesiology as a diagnostic tool. She determined in my first session that I had severe mercury poisoning; the source was leaky fillings in my teeth. I got treated with homeopathic medications, had all of my fillings replaced and the pain went away.

Since then, I have had other circumstances where detoxification was necessary. To just start a detox-program on your own, however, can be counter productive.

Here are some reasons why:

1. If your elimination organs aren't strong enough, the released toxins will be reabsorbed into the system. The whole process is weakening with no results.

2. If you are detoxifying specific chemicals, parasites or metals different formulas are needed to safely and effectively promote the process.

3. The body might need to detoxify in different stages. So if the approach is too radical you might do more harm than good.

I have worked repeatedly with practitioners that use kinesiology. In the US, a lot of chiropractors do. Kinesiology is a form of muscle testing, that uses the body as a diagnostic tool and that has helped to point me in the right direction. Once I have the information, I proceed from there.

Keeping my body as clean as possible has given me the health and energy to support all other aspects of my life. I highly recommend it!

Good Luck With Your Karma, Buddy!

You know those moments when some 'dingelberry' really gets to you. For me it is usually the big Egos, that are treating the world as their entourage and are willing to give little in return, that do push my buttons. It is frustrating and annoying and you either don't know how to respond at all in that instant, or you might say things you later regret.

Personally, I made a choice a few years ago to not get sucked in anymore. And let me tell you, it was a purely selfish choice, for I realized that I gave way too much power to people and situations that I had absolutely no control over.

Here is my current strategy:

1. I check myself (read additional posts 'The Gauges' and 'Being A Student Of Life'); if I react it is my lesson in some way.

2. Kill 'em with kindness. I refuse to be an over reactive chameleon to other people's negative emotions, therefore I choose to be extremely friendly even in the face of rudeness.

3. And last, but not least I will send them off by thinking extremely loud:

"God bless you with your karma, Buddy!" And I have to say it feels good to no longer carry the notion that it is my duty to be ‘The Law’!

Just to deal with the things that are in my jurisdiction is hard enough. I choose to leave the rest up to Divine Source and the wonderful ‘Laws of Karma’, where justice will always be done eventually and everyone has a chance to learn and redeem themselves at some point in time.

The Smile That Changed My Life

Sometimes we feel so powerless in this world, where mayhem seems to reign - where there are countless fires in need to be put out and where suffering and poverty on all levels is absolutely overwhelming. These circumstances can feel so daunting that any effort on one’s part appears useless.

The following is a true story that changed my perception and my life.

I was seventeen and severely depressed. I spent years bogged down by a heaviness that I couldn't shake. I desperately hoped for answers, but received only the constant echo my limited perception provided of a superficial, uncaring world.

 One dreary, rainy, cold day in the late fall I was walking in the streets of Cologne, lost in my thoughts, hunched over, eyes squinted. The streets were nearly empty. The people I did pass hurried by. I barely looked up until I felt somebody walking right towards me. I lifted my head, mainly to avoid collision, when the stranger made direct eye contact with me and smiled. This smile went straight through all my fences, inside and warmed my heart and soul in places that I hadn't been touched in a long time. It was as if the sun had come out.

 We passed and kept walking. I can't remember the person's face, but I can still feel the power of the smile.

I walked away from the encounter with feelings of happiness and hope.

For weeks afterwards I told everyone about my encounter. I came to the conclusion that the world would be a much better place, if only more people smiled (at me).

About three or four months later it dawned on me that I was part of the problem. I was one of those miserable people on the street that never smiled. And that was the moment I really changed.  I decided to become part of the solution. I have been smiling at random strangers ever since and I do my best to commit random acts of kindness. I do not turn around and look for results, but maybe just maybe one of my smiles landed in someone's heart and blossomed into hope in a moment when it was really needed.

God bless the stranger that changed my life. Thank you!

The Importance Of Asking The Right Question

When you put out a question or a request to God/the Universe/Divine Source make sure to be specific, because you will get your answer.

Here are a few examples:

In a world that is governed by free will questions that start with 'should', 'supposed to', 'have to' are most answered with 'no'.

"Should I take the new job?"

"Am I supposed to go to the party?"

"Do I have to help my family?"

All these questions would not lead to the answer you are really seeking.

Here are some ways how you could rephrase them, and remember to be sure and determine what your real goal in the situation is.

So you might ask:

"Is this job a good, healthy choice for me regarding my career, my personal evolution, my soul contract, my family, to have balance in my life etc?"

"Is it in alignment with my heart/higher self to go to the party?"

"Is it a divinely aligned choice to assist my family today?"

As you can see you are pre-choosing the direction you wish to travel in, before you ask the question.

If you are not sure of your motivation, explore it first; then you are ready to proceed to the question.

The same goes for being specific with requests.

Here is a funny story that brings the lesson home.

A very dear friend of mine found herself overwhelmed by her life. The chaos created by two small children, a stressful job and a sick parent left her utterly exhausted. She is a very spiritual person and she turned to God for help.

"Please God teach me patience!"

Her prayer was answered. There was a long line at the bank, a traffic jam in the middle of the day, one of her kids got sick and the computer at work broke down.

Near tears she found herself kneeling on the floor:

"Lord, why are you doing this to me? I am exhausted, I can't take anymore."

"My child, you asked me to teach you patience and I have given you plenty of opportunities to learn."

It is then that she understood that what she wanted was an extra dose of patience, like a supplement, not the lesson of it.

Some people have asked me, if Divine Source shouldn't know what we want either way.

The answer I got was that as an older soul one is given more responsibilities and one of them is the ability to be precise with one’s requests. Really not too much to ask , if you think about it.

Think Fusion

One of the recurring themes I see for 'old souls' is the need to integrate seemingly polar opposite frequencies. That can pose a challenge for the personality, because we are used and conditioned to decide between the either and ors in life.

Imagine/remember, that you have had many experiences as a soul in the world and played many different parts. You have been a monk and a healer, a warrior and a queen, an orphan and a criminal, a mother and a prostitute, an artist and a politician. All the skills you have learned are part of you in one form or another. For many souls this is a lifetime dedicated to healing and integration of all aspects of self. If we hold on too much to the individual forms, we block our creative abilities to see how we can create our own unique fusion archetype.

In order to do so, tune into the conflicting voices within and listen carefully to what they want.

The monk aspect might wish to have a rigorous spiritual practice, while the artist archetype demands to have no restrictions at all. Imagine these two as the colors yellow and blue. If you mix them together, you'll end up with green. Fusing the monk and the artist will lead to a balance between flow and structure and the focus on the internal, as well as the external world.

Be willing to make room for all aspects of self. Each one can bring a quality that is healthy, especially when aligned with the heart and in harmony with other parts of the soul.

It is like fusion cuisines or music. There is plenty of room for new flavors and inventions.

And I do believe that some of us will need to find our soul fusion first, before we are capable to perceiving our calling, which often times require our ability to find new and expanded ways of dealing with a more and more complex reality.

Inspirational Story I

There are a few stories that have stayed with me over the course of many years. They have had the power to influence my decisions in very crucial moments of my life. The following is one of them. I have no idea who the creator is. May he/she be blessed on his/her journey!

There once was a man whose dream in life was to have a beautiful garden. The man was hardworking and he had a lot of faith in prayer. His job as a baker in a small town supported him well enough, but there was no money to buy land and the property where he lived was small and there was no room to plant anything.

Every day the man would pray:

"Please Lord, bless me with a garden. I am good person, I'll take care of it!" And each morning he woke up in a sense of excitement, that maybe today was the day, where a miracle might occur and where his dream would come true. And at the end of each day he went to bed with a sense of disappointment, for he had spent another day without it.

He kept praying relentlessly. Day after day, week after week, months after months until years had gone by. Often times he was on his knees, his heart burning with desire for this one dream to be fulfilled.

There came the day when a courier stopped by his house informing him that he had inherited a piece of land at the edge of the little town. An old man had left it for him in his will, because he had given him some free bread at a time of need.The man rejoiced. "Thank you Lord! You have finally blessed me with my garden!"

Impatiently he rushed out to survey his new property. When he arrived he didn't believe his eyes. The ground was filled with boulders and lots of rocks and some grass on a very steep hill. There wasn't even a tree, nor flowers. A small cabin on the side of the road was also his.

"Lord why are you doing this to me?"

The man was in tears. He went home that night and continued with his prayer.

"Please Lord, have mercy with me and bless me with a beautiful garden."

A few weeks later the man decided to move to his new cabin and save some money in rent.

Every evening he prayed and every morning he rushed to the window to see if the land had turned into the garden of his dreams over night. Nothing!

One morning he had had it and decided that prayer is useless. He put on some clothes and walked outside, equipped with and old shuffle and a pick. He started to work the land and to move some of the rocks from the hill. Soon after he worked on it every free moment. He cleared rocks and used them to build walls that he filled in with dirt to prevent it from sliding down the steep hill. He started to plant flowers and vegetables. As soon as he put the seeds in the ground, they grew in record time.

After two years the man looked out of his window and indeed he now had a beautiful garden, but he felt like it was all due to his hard labor. He often sat outside on a bench as the sun was setting in admiration of his creation. One evening a traveler passed by and stopped in enchantment at what he saw.

"My, God has surly blessed you with a beautiful garden."

Our man replied a bit sourly:

"You should have seen this place when God had it to himself. It was all rocks and dirt and it was me who cleaned it up."

"So you are in deed a miracle worker to make these flowers grow into such beauties?"

It was only then that the man realized that it was God that had blessed him with it for he himself had no power to create. He had only built the structure for the miracle to manifest in.

From that moment on forward the man returned to his daily prayers. His heart was filled with joy and gratitude for the rest of his life.

"Thank you Lord for making my dream come true!"

The moral of the story for me has always been to make sure to work with what I have been given, even if it seems insufficient at the time. And guess what? It has worked so far.

The Faces of Fear

Fear and how to overcome it has been an ongoing topic in my personal life, as well as in many sessions with clients.

One of the things I have learned is that there are all kinds of fears that need very different approaches in order to be resolved.

The following is an overview of a few common types of fears, by no means a complete list.

1. The Trauma Based Fear:

Any trauma leaves an imprint until it is fully healed. This trauma can stem from this life, a past life, or it could be inherited through the DNA. Often times a trauma energy is dormant until a surface situation activates it. It is very common to project the trauma energy on the future, or the present circumstances, especially if one is missing access to the actual memories. (Read post about light and shadow projections for additional info.)

In order to clear this kind of fear the trauma needs to be healed and put in it's proper context. Adopting the student of life perspective (see same titled post) is a helpful first step.

2. The Intuitive Based Fear:

This fear is the one we don't want to get rid of, but closely listen too. It is the one that picks up on information, before you do. It tells you that a person, a situation, a neighborhood isn't safe for you and that you'd better get out of there while you still can.

It does take practice to distinguish this fear from the trauma induced one, because emotionally they register almost the same. My personal experience with this fear is that it strikes in moments that are usually not triggers, while the trauma based fear gets activated over and over again under similar circumstances.

3. The Manipulative Fear

 People use this fear, because they feel the need to solicit extra attention and support from their environment. They might have early on learned that they received more nurturing from a caregiver when they were scared and therefore got conditioned on using their fear as a tool. This fear is very tricky and the person will hysterically believe in its reality, being blind to its real purpose. If you are the one manipulated by ongoing drama of that nature, it is important to practice some tough love. You can do this by giving more attention and love to healthy and self-sufficient behavior. It is also important to encourage the person to mastering the fear when it surfaces.

If you are the one suspecting that you have used fear as a crutch, I would advice to work on becoming my own best friend and to make a pact with myself to face my fear when it surfaces.

4. The Contagious Fear:

At times we can get caught up in a mass panic, the fear that spreads like wildfire (remember the bird flu, or 9-11). It's like an invisible color that enters the energy field and starts to dominate our state of being. I use meditation practices to strengthen myself in times of mass hysteria. I mentally accept my potential fate (like dying of some plague) and deciding to do so in a calm, loving manner. Why worry about things that I have no control over (I'll cross that bridge when I get there, if I get there)? I rather focus on the things I have control over, like my attitude, and I personally rather spend the last days of my life loving, laughing and being grateful than worrying.

There is certainly a lot more to be said on the topic, but I think the recognition of different type of fears is a good starting point.

Helpful Tools 1) Flower Essences

Within all my years dedicated to healing and soul evolution I have found some very helpful tools. The first one I'd like to discuss is the usage of flower essences.
Flower essences are herbal infusions or decoctions, made from the flowering part of the plant, which uniquely address emotional, mental and energetic aspects of wellbeing.

My first encounter with flower essences occurred when I was fourteen years old.

I was in the midst of a teenage temper tantrum (I cannot remember what it was about!) when my mother demanded for me to open mouth. That wasn't very far fetched since it was already pretty much open. She emptied a dropper filled with fluid and left the room.

About a minute later I calmed down totally against my will. I followed her to see what had disrupted my scene. It turned out to be a tiny bottle of Bach Flower Rescue Remedy.

I have been using them ever since. They have helped me take the edge off before hard exams, in moments of painful loss and crisis. I have used them in water to bring dying plants back to life. My five cats rode happily under the influence in the back seat of my car all the way from Austin Texas to California without a cage (and trust me, they weren't trained!). I have recommended them to many people along the way and have gotten a lot of good feedback. They are like homeopathy for the emotional body and can help stabilize that part of us. There are many different companies that offer flower essences. Other than the Bach Flower Rescue Drops, which I always have handy, I personally like the Green Hope Farm Essences (www.greenhopeessences.com).

They cover many items we have to work through in our current time and help address deep seated issues, like past life trauma.

I recommend flower essences when you have been running too much mental and emotional energy and you want your system to assimilate some information and support via other channels.

It is one of the tools I always come back to. Please use your own intuition to know when they call and be open to let the right company/products speak to you.

Movies As Therapy Part I

One of the advantages we have in our modern reality is the ability to watch movies.

The modern version of the storyteller has the power to fulfill many tasks.

The first one is the power to ignite our humor. On days when you can't laugh about yourself, or the circumstances at hand, it can be utterly therapeutic to watch a good comedy and to remember that life isn't as serious as you make it out to be.

Here is a list of comedies that I have enjoyed:

1. Shrek -Parts 1,2,3 and 4

2. Imagine That!

3. The Other Guys

4. Tropic Thunder

5. The Men Who Stare At Goats

6. Burn After Reading

7. Nacho Libre

8. Ghost Town

9. Death At A Funeral

10. The Heartbreak Kid

Remember laughing is healing and powerful and never a waste of your time.

There have been plenty of sticky situations in my life where a breakthrough occurred only after I surrendered with humor. A good movie can be one of the ways to take you there. A funny friend of course, might do even better, and let's not forget the power of the internal comedian.

Beginners Mind

One of the important tools for healing and change is the ability to investigate our own internal landscape. When we carry rigid beliefs or concepts in any arena we are not able to perceive things/self/others as they truly are, hindering the necessary alchemical process/understanding/healing to occur.

One of the games I play with myself is called beginners mind. I will show up for meetings with people I have strong opinions about, or meditate on aspects of self/reality that I find difficult and pretend I know nothing about them.

It is almost like being in acting class and you find that place to pretend i.e. that you have never seen your mother before. How does she seem to you as a person that day, without all the projections from the past?

Oftentimes pieces of information, or aspects of the person formerly invisible make themselves known. Remember that none of us ever has the full picture of anyone or anything, not even ourselves. Therefore it is good to show up for life at times with beginners mind.

It is a way of changing the camera angles and reminding yourself that there is a bigger picture and a perspective that you haven't explored yet. It is up to you as the camera operator to get the different shots and to practice your inner flexibility.

The Secret About The Ability To Manifest

 

I have had a lot of people come to sessions feeling defeated and like total failures, because their manifestation exercises and attempts remained fruitless, barely daring to ask the question, "why didn’t it work for me, but it did for my friend?"

Here is a little reminder for everyone:

There are no two Karmic contracts alike and all contracts have very specific clauses regarding lessons that the soul chooses to learn within each lifetime. Obviously the lessons the soul selects are often times not what the ego wishes to manifest. If the soul's and the ego's desires are not matched up, the contract the soul has in place will override all ego attempts. Keep that in mind when working on manifestations in your life.

(Also read the posts 'What is your motivation?' and 'Discernment-every contract is different')

Here are a few concrete examples:

1. A person looks to manifest a family and children and yet finds him/herself chronically single. If we look at the soul contract we might find:

A) A clause that states that no family shall be manifested in the present life in order to work on independence, flexibility and self-love.

B) To find a sense of family beyond the borders of a tribe.

C) To pay off a karmic debt for not appreciating a family in the past.

 These are just a few possible scenarios.

2. Somebody who wishes to manifest greater financial abundance but who finds barely enough to get by and struggles despite great efforts.

Here are some possible reasons why a soul might choose this lesson:

A) It has decided to break a pattern of over identification with material goods,

B) There might be an active vow of poverty in place from a former life as a monk.

C) The person might be paying a karmic debt for having cheated somebody in business affairs.

 These are obviously only a few possible reasons, but the ones given are to shed some light on the subject.

      3.Another popular goal is for people to lose weight. Some reasons they might not have let go of it yet are: 
  

      A) The weight is carried for protection and the soul hasn’t figured out a different way to feel safe yet
        (i.e. response to sexual or physical abuse)

     B) The soul might have starved in a past-life and that trauma causes a continuous sense of hunger. 
       On the surface it looks like a lack of restraint, because the trauma is needing to get healed first.

     C) Somebody who absorbs too much negative energy from the environment might hold it in form of access weight. The weight will be kept in place until the energie is released and he/she learns to keep better boundaries.

As you can see, all these examples are reasons why the soul would forfeit the instant gratification of certain manifestations. Remember you are here to learn and evolve. My suggestion is, if you find yourself stuck in a certain area of your life despite great efforts, meditate on what your soul contract/lessons are.

In my experience it becomes easier to change the situation at hand, or to live with what is with more peace, if one has the understanding of why it got stuck in the first place.

This is certainly a big topic, but I do hope that this post was able to shed some light on it.   

The Gauges

If you look at yourself as divided into physical, emotional, mental and energetic body all of them function together, yet have the ability to act independently from each other. You can be scared and have your physical self enjoy perfect health at the same time. Your mental body might be hyper active, while your emotional body is calm. Your energetic body could be going through a metamorphosis, while the rest of you is asleep.

There is a great attachment in our society to have all the bodies run at high performance level all the time. We want to feel good, healthy, strong, successful and happy on all levels. When one of the bodies is disturbed by a 'negative' frequency we are quick to look for a quick fix. A painkiller here, an anti-depressant there, a joint to take the edge off etc. are the tools we often reach for.

Don't get me wrong, I think there is a time and place for everything, but don't be too lazy. I have started to look at my bodies at gauges. Imagine you are flying an airplane and you have all these different instruments in front of you, letting you know your height, your speed, fuel level and the course you are on. If you are in a plane, you would want to know all these pieces of data, otherwise you might crash. Life isn't much different. Depression is an indicator that something in yourself is being depressed in the way you live your life. It could be your current relationship, or your job, a lack of exercise, no time for what you love or a past-life trauma surfacing. How would you know what you're dealing with? Well certainly not by using a hammer and smashing the gauge. ("Stupid oil light stop blinking at me!" smash, "there I showed you!"…."Oh no, what's that? Why is the car slowing down?" ……"The engine blew out? How could this happen? There is no oil? Why didn't anybody warn me? Poor me, why is the Universe punishing me?")

Being willing to be aware of what is going on and to be brutally honest with self are the keys. The truth is, you might not be able to fix the situation immediately. Some circumstances require careful planning. Often times you will start to feel some relief as you take steps towards resolving the issue, because your system knows, that it has gotten through to you with the message.

So be brave to ask 'what is the message here?' and 'what do I need to do to in order to resolve this issue?'

It doesn't matter if you are dealing with a headache, a more serious health issue, negativity in your mental body, a scary emotion, or energetic symptoms, be willing to listen to yourself, no matter how annoying the symptom might be.

Light - And Shadow - Projections

Accurate perception of the world and the people around us is one of the key ingredients of how well one can navigate the waters of reality. I am sure that you have had situations where you ended up disappointed that somebody didn't meet your expectations, or you had to apologize to someone after harshly judging them, because that person or a related event turned out a lot better than you had thought.

At the root of these occurrences we often times find projections.

Think of them as a movie projector that plays it's own (your internal) movies on top of the reality the way it really is. It's like sitting in a cinema while a movie is playing and the person arriving late walks in front of the screen. You can perceive the outline and the shadow that is cast on the screen, but you don't really see the color clothes or the tone of the skin, because the colors of the movie will fill in that information for you. Our own internal movies often times get  produced by our fantasies, actual traumatic experiences in the past, cultural belief systems, ego demands etc.

During light projections the movie is healthier, brighter, more aligned than reality, while the shadow projector makes the situation/person appear darker, scarier, meaner, and sicker than they truly are.

So let's say you have a good hearted, trust-worthy person, who believes that most humans operate under the same principals. They might have a tendency to light project their own nature onto other people. This person could go so far as to overlook warning signs, because with the honor code in place it would feel too negative to say, "I can't trust this individual".

Instead the conclusion would be "everybody deserves a chance, what's wrong with me to have such negative thoughts?"

The decision to ignore ones instincts can come at a high price and the disappointments can be very traumatic. The real lesson of course is to be willing to see reality as it is, even if that is uncomfortable at times.

If due to past trauma one would come to the conclusion i.e. that all rich people are evil and cold, certain opportunities might not be taken. The rich person that offered you the loan for your dream business was turned down, meanwhile the inner victim screams, "why does God never give me a break?"

In my journey through life I have chosen to pay close attention to my old movies and to take them off the projector.

Here are some indicators that alert me:

1.  Generalization - all situations/people of that nature are good/bad

2. Emotional Overreaction - I am too upset/ angry/ scared considering the actual situation at hand

3. This person is just like me/ or like somebody I know very well

4. This person/situation is the answer to all of my problems

Getting rid of projections makes the ride a bit smoother and gives the people in our lives a fairer chance to be seen in their truths.

How To Fit Spiritual Practice Into Modern Life

The other day a depressed client confided in me, that he didn’t know how to fit meditation into his life. I was a bit perplexed, because he usually was rather cheerful and very applied in his spiritual process. Come to find out that he had attended a seminar where the ‘spiritual expert’ said, that if you don’t sit in meditation for at least two hours morning and night, you are not truly meditating, nor tending properly to your spiritual practice (even though these kind of comments grind my God given gears, I did end up at ‘interesting, let’s look at this!’).

Here is my take on the scenario. Meditation is ultimately about cultivating awareness and staying in the observer-self, while your mental and/or emotional body, or the world around you might be going crazy. We don’t have the luxury in every life to practice in a quiet, serene, protected cave or monastery, so how about rush hour traffic on the 405, or the dreaded dinner at the in-laws house. We have the option of choosing to be aware 24/7. Can you be present, in the moment and focused on your breathing, while your kids fight and decide from that place what to do? 

That is a form of meditation. Adding prayer, a Mantra, some deep breath or a consciences moment of gratitude to our day is a form of meditation. Strengthen the observer self, the part that is objective like the narrator of the story, that has equal distance to your thoughts, emotions and physical self and that doesn't get swallowed up by the drama, but has the strength to lean back and say 'interesting'.

Sometimes more evolved souls, that have mastered the meditation practice within a monastery, do choose to test themselves in a more busy, stimulating environment, to see if they can find the peace and alignment there in the midst of the chaos and disruption. Even, if you have only a few minutes here and there, no candles and no altar, practice your awareness.

At the end we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, so your spiritual practice is being alive, no matter what the circumstances, or the lessons.

The Lesson In Disguise

I love Yoga! I started about ten years ago and quickly made it a priority in my life. Practicing 5-7 days a week, sometimes two classes a day. Three years into it I noticed increased strength and flexibility, being able to attempt more and more poses, that had been totally out of reach. After five years the formerly challenging classes seemed easy and my endurance soared. I calculated that in another five years I’d be able to do handstand in the middle of the room and then slowly lower myself into wheel, before elegantly ending up in mountain pose at the front of my mat.

At the seven-year mark I injured my back (Yoga unrelated). I couldn’t move for months. The first few weeks I could barely crawl, let alone stand up. My lower back was so sore and stiff, despite many efforts on my part (physical and energetic therapies) that I was very happy and grateful when I was simply able to go for walks again.

As I got better, I grew more and more impatient to get back to my Yoga practice. A year and a half after the injury occurred, I finally went back. The first class was a gentle class. I was happy to be back. Two weeks later I went back to one of my favorite classes, I was determined to get back on track. The first half of the class went fine. I hadn’t lost all of my strength and flexibility, what a relief. Then came that fateful moment, when I had to ego perfect my upward facing dog. I overdid it. My back let me know immediately. I had to leave class early; barely made it to the car, tears stinging my eyes. This little ego stunt caused me another 9 months pause. When I finally went back to the gentle class, a lot more humble and happy to be there, I released my ten-year mark expectation of handstand in the room. Not only was I not there, my performance had decreased by 500%. I silenced myself and meditated on the real lesson.

Finally it came to me, quietly like a whisper, the real lesson of my Yoga practice was to learn about patience and compassion for myself and others. The gentle class was the perfect place to learn it. Again, I have to bow in front of this utterly perfect (so evasive for the ego) lesson plan.

Loss And Release

I love animals and I love sharing my life with them. Dogs, cats, horses, hamsters you name it I have had a number of significant relationships with my furry friends.

This story takes place in 1999 where over the course of three months I lost all of my five cats. They were all less than ten years old and I am not certain what happened to any of them. This happened following my separation from my ex-husband.  It is needless to say that I was utterly devastated and heartbroken. I couldn't understand why this was happening. My pain led me to make the decision to not have any more pets.

One day in meditation one of the cats appeared to me and said: Open your heart, there are plenty of wonderful beings in need of a good home, please let them in. Our contract was up after your husband left (a most challenging relationship), we were there to support you during that time, now move on.

I was very moved and took the advice to heart. A week later I adopted Lily and Murphy from the pound. I was very protective over them, tried to make sure that they always stayed close to the house and that they came in before dark. Murphy, an orange tabby never went far and followed us around like a little puppy. Lily, on the other hand was a wild child, very independent, always on the run. I lived in constant fear and anxiety over their wellbeing. Fifteen months later one evening I couldn't find Murphy. Freaking out, I searched for three hours, eventually locating him lying under the car dead. Two red dots were the only traces left of the baby rattler that must have gotten him. I sobbed and grieved allowing my heart to close, vowing that I couldn't deal with that kind of loss.

This time Murphy's spirit showed up, asking me to give some other cat a chance. I made it my quest to open my heart again and I went to the pound. Daisy came home with me the following week. Lily was so furious that she moved out for six months. No coaxing in the world could get her back in the house.

Daisy was a happy kitten for two weeks until she fell ill. Taking her to the vet it was determined that she had Distemper, a usually fatal disease for cats. My heart told me to have her treated. Miraculously she survived.  Lily also was alive and well despite having lived outside in the mountains for six months. One day I received the clear message that if somebody is meant to be safe they would be, if it is their time to die, I had to learn to let go. Some things are just outside our jurisdiction.

It's ten years later and Lily and Daisy are both healthy and happy and with me. My anxiety gone for I have learned to trust their journey and I am happy to be able to travel with them

The Hallmark Relationship Illusion

If you were given the task to write down what a mother-daughter, romantic, sibling, friendship relationship should be, you would most likely have no problem outlining the basic qualities. If you compare your notes with reality, how many relationships fall short of what you think they should be?

Most people have a romantic (hallmark) version of relationships that they use to measure reality by. Whenever that standard isn't fulfilled one either is disappointed, hurt and uses possibly punitive towards the other party, or it could build up internally as insecurities (I am not enough, I am not loveable etc.).

Now let's look at relationships as a classroom, no two marriages, friendships, parent-child relations are exactly alike. Each classroom is set up for very specific lessons.

 i.e. your mother might be an enemy from a past life, both of you being given a chance to find forgiveness this time around, the partner that is so different from you might have been contracted to teach you unconditional love and to let go of romantic expectations.

Letting go of the notion of what a relationship should be is the important first step.

Recognizing that what ever is manifesting in your life is perfect for your soul evolution, which can be very different from ego gratification.

Now take a look at what is the truth about a current relationship. Write down the basic qualities that are present and ask, what could be some possible lessons here?

Are there strong emotions present, that can't be explained through circumstantial evidence this lifetime? If so, you are most likely dealing with a karmic component.

Karma always seeks to resolve itself. Forgiveness, willingness to take responsibility for one's own journey and lessons, and the ability to let go of responsibilities that are not ours to carry are some of the tools that can be helpful to resolve and reshape ourselves and relationships with others.

At times guilt or abandonment issues might make us create relationships where we have to give a lot more than we receive. If that is the case the key is within, it is not the other person's job to start to give more, when you have a big stop sign on your aura.

So dare to take a step back and investigate what you have in front of you. That is the best way to start to resolve, learn and move on from any internal and external dysfunction

The Importance Of Art And Objects In your Life

One of the services I offer is house clearing. Over the last fifteen years, I've had the opportunity to visit hundreds of homes and properties from one-bedroom apartments to mansions and everything in between noticing over and over again that physical esthetics and energetics don't always go hand in hand. That means you could have beautiful handcrafted antique with horrible energy attached to it. Therefore, I suggest looking at your environment from at least two different angles.

1. Do the items in your house physically reflect who you are and how you want to feel?

a) Are there any items from your past that continuously remind you of an ex, not allowing you to move forward? In that case, consider getting rid of them or at least moving them into storage for a while.

b) Pictures and paintings can have a strong impact on how we feel. Look at colors and images and determine if they are support or block the vision and goals you have for yourself and your life. Allow yourself to remove things, even if they are cool or somebody you like very much gave them to you.

c) Clutter, like every good Feng-Shui book will tell you, should be eliminated. Objects that we neglect and no longer cherish can create a major energy suck on your environment. Do yourself and them a favor and release them back into the flow, so they can find a new home where they are wanted.

2. Pay attention to the energetic reality of objects.

Sometimes objects pass all the obvious inspections, yet something about a corner of a room feels heavier/darker/ more uncomfortable than it should.

If that is the case examine things closely, possibly remove all the items and put them back one at a time to determine which one(s) is/are carrying the energetic pollution.

If nothing lifts the issue, it's most certainly that the energy of the house or the property is off. The good news is most things can be cleared. The first important step is to recognize when an energetic clearing is necessary, for you want to provide yourself and loved ones with the most supportive environment at home (unless of course you have some unresolved guilt issue, or other lessons to learn).

And as always, have fun while doing so, you can learn a lot about yourself and the world from the comfort of your own home, simply by paying attention and rethinking/examining your choices.

P.S. I will discuss energy clearings further in a future blog!

Food for Thought About Food

Dealing with food has been a challenge for me this life.

While I was in college, I finally was free to make my own choices and escape the often times heavy cuisine of meat and potatoes of my parental home. Inspired by one of my raw-vegan friends I decided to become a vegetarian. I lived on trail-mix, fruits, veggies, wholegrain pasta, brown rice, granola, tofu and cottage cheese I was a very happy camper. A couple of years passed pretty uneventfully, health wise until I found myself developing a bad case of Acne, the likes of I hadn’t had since I was thirteen. I caught more and more colds and experienced constant bloating and indigestion. Despite excessive workouts, I couldn’t develop good muscle tone. I added tons of supplements to my diet without avail. I stayed on the same diet for another few years until finally my system totally caved in. Every time I ate something the nausea went through the roof. My skin was a mess and the overall fatigue made a regular trip to the supermarket almost impossible. Numerous doctor visits and $8000 worth of blood tests later, I still didn’t have a conclusive answer. Finally I ended up at a chiropractor, who also works with nutrition and kinesiology. The result: I had a bad case of Candida, was severely protein deficient, was highly allergic to dairy, soy, nuts, sugar (including fruit) and all grains. The only things my system would tolerate would be lean meat and green veggies and supportive supplements. I chose to comply. My energy returned, my skin cleared up, my immune system strengthened and I felt better then I had in years. Some of my food allergies have lifted, but I still can’t have grains. Meditating on why Vegetarianism wasn’t for me this lifetime, I was shown that I had built a strong belief as to what kind of diet was appropriate for a spiritual life, I was reminded that Divine Spirit is connected to anybody anywhere regardless of form. Ooops! Caught again in spiritual assumptions and arrogance.

Side Note: I once met a Native American Chief once, who replied to an audience member's criticism of how his tribe could face themselves as they still ate meat by saying: “Just because you don’t hear the carrot scream, doesn’t mean it doesn’t.” 

Dress Your Soul Not Your Ego

Most people I have worked with myself included, have chronic weak spots also referred to as Achilles-heel lessons. These are the ones that can get very tedious, for it might take a lot of time and application, to change the symptomatic patterns.

One of my weak spots has been to make peace with worldly/physical-manifested things. I used to be a real spiritual snob rejecting everything that was too dense and superficial and visible to the naked eye. That was certainly a very interesting evolutionary phase, that caused a lot of problems i.e. an eating disorder (the soul should be light as a feather), depression (feeling trapped in an unsuited reality), feeling misunderstood by my human peers who dared to superficially enjoy worldly matters etc. As you can imagine, I wasn’t a very happy camper. One day while meditating I was shown this image of everything being part of divine creation, including physical reality. A wave of shame and embarrassment surged through my system ultimately prompting me to come up with some exercises to make peace with manifested reality.

One of my favorites is called ‘dress your soul, not your ego’. Every morning I meditate on what the soul feels like (color, fabrics, look) wearing that day, another creative way of self-expression.  It has been a lot of fun and at times it provides clues about aspects of self, past lives lived, that might have gone unnoticed otherwise.

Here are some steps to see what your soul might want to wear:

1. Approach it as a game, to make it safe give yourself permission to reject any outfit you channel for yourself.

2. Meditate:

a) in general on outfits that fit your soul frequency, even if they include items you don't have in your closet yet

b) on the specific outfit for the day/occasion

Here are some clues what to pursue. Is your soul looking for comfort? Do you want to increase/decrease brightness in colors, feminine/masculine expression? What colors speak to you? Are you expressing your creativity, sensitivity, humor and individuality through your clothes? Do you feel drawn to the fashion of other eras/cultures? If yes, find ways to incorporate them into your wardrobe today.

Do you have clothes in your closet that don't resonate with you? If so, have the courage to let them go otherwise you'll feel insecure every time you wear them.

c) Play dress up and observe your emotions. When you look in the mirror you should have a sense of looking at your real self, not you pretending to fit into a certain part of society.

d) Remember that one doesn't have to loose ones soul expression, while still being dressed appropriate for an occasion, individual expression can be added to any style.

e) Some of your soul's suggestions might seem scary or far out in the beginning, again have fun with it, and examine where the discomfort stems from? Then integrate items as you are ready to show the world your true self.

What's Your Motivation?

One of the questions I keep coming back to in my own process as well as in my work with others is 'what is the motivation behind the action?'

You may wonder why motivation is so important.  Well, very simple, if you are not clear about your motivation, your action and therefore reaction can easily distort/disrupt your reality. Let's say you are giving somebody a gift, the action in itself is clear, it could be fueled by love and appreciation for that person, or you might wish to have them owe you something, or you want to be appreciated and loved yourself, or perhaps your want to make them feel guilty for not having gotten you a gift for your birthday. So you see the undercurrent in this seemingly harmless transaction could be quite powerful. Depending on what your motivation was, you might be angered/disappointed if you don't get the response you were looking for.

For myself that is a question that I often return to, especially if a situation leaves me feeling dissatisfied in any way. This works for smaller circumstances as well as the larger questions in life.

A few years back I was thrown off by the Universe/God/Divine Source asking me what I wanted, I was so used to marching orders at that point, that the question really threw me off. After a couple of years of meditating on what it was that I wanted I realized that I had to examine the source of my motivation first, because you may want things for ego/instant gratification, setting goals to prove a point, ambition, fear, revenge, healing, evolution, love, compassion all of these and more can be strong motivating forces behind our actions.

I prefer to choose motivations like love, personal evolution, healing, balance as my motivators these days. When I smell something else, I clear it first before continuing to the next action.

The Only Way Out Is In

This is my last lifetime on earth, isn’t it? The hopeful, desperate or arrogant attitude that accompanies that question in many sessions says it all. If you have to ask and you are so hell bent to get out of here, the answer is 99.9% yeah, no. Sorry!

I spent quite a few lifetimes sitting on my packed suitcases, expecting the gates of heaven to open at any moment, somebody on the other side realized that there had been a terrible mistake and whisked me away to an intergalactic spa. Pointless to mention,  it didn’t happen. The rude awakening happened in form of a voice whispering:

“The only way out is in!”

“What do you mean?”

Silence!

“Hello, what does this mean? In where?”

Silence!

Silence!

Silence!

(Don’t you hate, when that happens?)

Finally figured out, that I had to clear up my very smelly karma and go inwards in order to qualify for departure. Still busy composting:)

And remember the Universe has plenty of time, no need to make any rash decisions on this one, unless your butt hurts from sitting on those darn travel trunks for too long. 

The Thirty-Minute Pity-Party

Born and raised in Germany, I inherited an early sense of the importance of efficiency.  Growing up I spent many hours, days, weeks and months feeling extremely sorry for myself and the rest of the world. The greed, the injustice, the pain, the loneliness, being misunderstood, the spiritual poverty etc. allowed me to have an ongoing party, without the slightest danger to run out of reasons to celebrate. That lasted until I ran into the concept of karma and the notion to evolve and heal while in human form. I quickly realized that I was wasting precious time. I wasn’t starving, the plague wasn’t going around, I had a roof over my head, no bombs dropping on my head, pretty darn good conditions to get some karma cleared up. Efficient as I am, I decided to limit my pity-parties to 30 min (and trust me, I enjoy every last one of them), before I roll up my sleeves, put my victim hat back in the costume box and apply myself to the root of the issue.