Friday, November 29, 2013

Funny Story!


Hi Everyone!
Happy belated Thanksgiving and I apologize for yet another delay in writing more new posts.
I have been suffering from writer's block and I have been stuck in "THE VOID"
(not my favorite place to be...).
Finally, I am in the flow again and I hope to have some original posts ready by next week.
In the meantime, I want to share this email with you, written by a very talented client who is a stand-up comedian named Adam Miller.
Adam always finds creative ways to motivate me to keep writing when there have been no new postings in a while...
So here it goes, it was titled "Kind of funny Story"-email:
(And thanks Adam, it worked :-)!)
                                                    
As we all know, I have had and do have plenty of weaknesses I have needed to work on, but, I also of course have strengths.  One of the things I have always been good at is adding insight and perspective, either one on one or in group conversations.  Even when I was a kid I just knew what the answer was even though I didn't always know how or how I understood it...

Anyway, I was at Cs workshop this past weekend and the group was talking about sympathy vs. empathy and whether or not there are truly victims in our reality.  After they went around a little bit, missing the bullseye, and contaminating the room with confusion:), C asked me if I had anything to add.  So I did.  And then, of course, as always, (bats eyelashes) there was a line of people waiting to talk to me after :)...

This is the jist of what happened as best as I can remember it:

First guy approaches with slight trepidation.

First guy: you know, I just wanted to say in regard to your comments…(takes a knee)

Me: (graciously) that’s ok sir, you don’t have to kneel…

First guy: (rising, quivering just a little) I really appreciated what you had to say...I really liked your observations...It touched me and made me think…(eyes tearing up) you’re an unprecedented genius and I wish I was you(or something like that)…
Me:  (buffing my nails)  yes, yes, of course, I know, no problem, glad I could help clarify for the group...(blows on nails)… 

First guy tries to offer me his baby

Me: (graciously) sir please, that’s ok, I don’t want your first born child, keep it…(burps)  I ate earlier anyway…anyway, as I was saying,  yes, wisdom beyond my years, that’s the way humans normally put it, yes, ha ha, so true, funny story actually, the sages used to whisper that through the walls of my mom’s belly to get me to stop kicking… (brushes back hair with hand and pulls eyelash off and blows it)

First guy leaves glowing.  C approaches.

C: You know, I am really glad you spoke up.  You really have a gift for communication.  You really have a lot of insight…(eyes tearing up) I think you're the most brilliant and wonderful man who ever lived(or something like that)...you're like so super cool it's ridiculous. I only apologize we didn’t adorn the couch with rose petals before you sat down…please understand, I was busy preparing for…

Me: (graciously extending hand)  it’s ok, I’m practicing humility now( she kisses hand)…it’s good for me to go without them. 

Slight pause.

C:  (trying to comprehend such colossal spirituality) It must be hard not being able to tell all these people…
Me:  Tell them what?  The reason Father made them?

Catalina:  No, that you’re the actual real life, one and only, in the flesh messiah.

Me:  (buffing nails and looking in my pocket mirror)  Oh, ha, that!  Well you know, you learn to live with it.  Anyway, thank you so much, glad I could say something to help...anytime. 

C:  (nervous but summoning the courage) Do you think perhaps you might want to start teaching my class with me? 

Me:  Um...maybe. (starts returning a text message)  I guess I’d be open to it…let’s do lunch. But I can’t Tuesday through Sunday…those are my rest days. 

I cross the room, elegantly plucking my eyebrows.  Girl approaches.    

Girl:  I really liked what you had to say.  It sounds like you have really read a lot of Nicole's articles.

Silence. 

Me: (fumbling mirror, dropping it and kicking it across the floor…putting nails in mouth)  huh?...oh…you know Nicole?…well...um....I mean...you know...I mean....yeah...I mean...some...I mean...I read a lot of stuff...I mean, mostly I channel everything...I mean, mostly I already know everything...I mean...um…

Girl:  yeah, I could really tell.


Me: Mmm-hmm.   Yeah...mmm-hmm…that’s great…well...I…shit!...fine…you got me!  But just the stuff about all you whiny babies stopping seeing yourselves as victims!!!  But I had to get that from her you understand?   I don’t have any personal experience with that!  :)

The girl was O.  She was really cool.  We had a lot of fun.   I may have exaggerated the story just a tad.  

Adam