Light - And Shadow - Projections

Accurate perception of the world and the people around us is one of the key ingredients of how well one can navigate the waters of reality. I am sure that you have had situations where you ended up disappointed that somebody didn't meet your expectations, or you had to apologize to someone after harshly judging them, because that person or a related event turned out a lot better than you had thought.

At the root of these occurrences we often times find projections.

Think of them as a movie projector that plays it's own (your internal) movies on top of the reality the way it really is. It's like sitting in a cinema while a movie is playing and the person arriving late walks in front of the screen. You can perceive the outline and the shadow that is cast on the screen, but you don't really see the color clothes or the tone of the skin, because the colors of the movie will fill in that information for you. Our own internal movies often times get  produced by our fantasies, actual traumatic experiences in the past, cultural belief systems, ego demands etc.

During light projections the movie is healthier, brighter, more aligned than reality, while the shadow projector makes the situation/person appear darker, scarier, meaner, and sicker than they truly are.

So let's say you have a good hearted, trust-worthy person, who believes that most humans operate under the same principals. They might have a tendency to light project their own nature onto other people. This person could go so far as to overlook warning signs, because with the honor code in place it would feel too negative to say, "I can't trust this individual".

Instead the conclusion would be "everybody deserves a chance, what's wrong with me to have such negative thoughts?"

The decision to ignore ones instincts can come at a high price and the disappointments can be very traumatic. The real lesson of course is to be willing to see reality as it is, even if that is uncomfortable at times.

If due to past trauma one would come to the conclusion i.e. that all rich people are evil and cold, certain opportunities might not be taken. The rich person that offered you the loan for your dream business was turned down, meanwhile the inner victim screams, "why does God never give me a break?"

In my journey through life I have chosen to pay close attention to my old movies and to take them off the projector.

Here are some indicators that alert me:

1.  Generalization - all situations/people of that nature are good/bad

2. Emotional Overreaction - I am too upset/ angry/ scared considering the actual situation at hand

3. This person is just like me/ or like somebody I know very well

4. This person/situation is the answer to all of my problems

Getting rid of projections makes the ride a bit smoother and gives the people in our lives a fairer chance to be seen in their truths.

How To Fit Spiritual Practice Into Modern Life

The other day a depressed client confided in me, that he didn’t know how to fit meditation into his life. I was a bit perplexed, because he usually was rather cheerful and very applied in his spiritual process. Come to find out that he had attended a seminar where the ‘spiritual expert’ said, that if you don’t sit in meditation for at least two hours morning and night, you are not truly meditating, nor tending properly to your spiritual practice (even though these kind of comments grind my God given gears, I did end up at ‘interesting, let’s look at this!’).

Here is my take on the scenario. Meditation is ultimately about cultivating awareness and staying in the observer-self, while your mental and/or emotional body, or the world around you might be going crazy. We don’t have the luxury in every life to practice in a quiet, serene, protected cave or monastery, so how about rush hour traffic on the 405, or the dreaded dinner at the in-laws house. We have the option of choosing to be aware 24/7. Can you be present, in the moment and focused on your breathing, while your kids fight and decide from that place what to do? 

That is a form of meditation. Adding prayer, a Mantra, some deep breath or a consciences moment of gratitude to our day is a form of meditation. Strengthen the observer self, the part that is objective like the narrator of the story, that has equal distance to your thoughts, emotions and physical self and that doesn't get swallowed up by the drama, but has the strength to lean back and say 'interesting'.

Sometimes more evolved souls, that have mastered the meditation practice within a monastery, do choose to test themselves in a more busy, stimulating environment, to see if they can find the peace and alignment there in the midst of the chaos and disruption. Even, if you have only a few minutes here and there, no candles and no altar, practice your awareness.

At the end we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, so your spiritual practice is being alive, no matter what the circumstances, or the lessons.

The Lesson In Disguise

I love Yoga! I started about ten years ago and quickly made it a priority in my life. Practicing 5-7 days a week, sometimes two classes a day. Three years into it I noticed increased strength and flexibility, being able to attempt more and more poses, that had been totally out of reach. After five years the formerly challenging classes seemed easy and my endurance soared. I calculated that in another five years I’d be able to do handstand in the middle of the room and then slowly lower myself into wheel, before elegantly ending up in mountain pose at the front of my mat.

At the seven-year mark I injured my back (Yoga unrelated). I couldn’t move for months. The first few weeks I could barely crawl, let alone stand up. My lower back was so sore and stiff, despite many efforts on my part (physical and energetic therapies) that I was very happy and grateful when I was simply able to go for walks again.

As I got better, I grew more and more impatient to get back to my Yoga practice. A year and a half after the injury occurred, I finally went back. The first class was a gentle class. I was happy to be back. Two weeks later I went back to one of my favorite classes, I was determined to get back on track. The first half of the class went fine. I hadn’t lost all of my strength and flexibility, what a relief. Then came that fateful moment, when I had to ego perfect my upward facing dog. I overdid it. My back let me know immediately. I had to leave class early; barely made it to the car, tears stinging my eyes. This little ego stunt caused me another 9 months pause. When I finally went back to the gentle class, a lot more humble and happy to be there, I released my ten-year mark expectation of handstand in the room. Not only was I not there, my performance had decreased by 500%. I silenced myself and meditated on the real lesson.

Finally it came to me, quietly like a whisper, the real lesson of my Yoga practice was to learn about patience and compassion for myself and others. The gentle class was the perfect place to learn it. Again, I have to bow in front of this utterly perfect (so evasive for the ego) lesson plan.