Becoming A Student Of Life

The way we frame our experiences and digest the details of our lives plays a huge part in if and how quickly one can heal.

Being stuck in victim mode and playing the blame game can feel good and seem rewarding, but at the end of the day one has surrendered all power to the external world. Life happens to victims with no fault of their own and zero personal responsibility. Being subjects to other people's moods and currents larger than self, there is nothing left to do, but suffer, complain, have an ongoing pity-party, or play the silent martyr.

When you look at life through the lens of one situation or life, the concept of victim and violator is alive and well. If you zoom out the camera and you look at a soul's journey, you will notice that things don't randomly happen to innocent people. There is always a karmic thread, or lesson involved that leads us to play the role of the victim. In order to heal it is helpful to work with the soul frame, therefore I invite you to view yourself as a student of life. Whenever you are hurting, or somebody wrongs you ask yourself: As a student of life, what is my lesson here? Where is my responsibility/contribution in creating these circumstances? Even if you don't come up with an immediate answer, moving out of victim conscience will allow the Universe to offer you solutions. Why? Well, for one, because you are starting to ask the right questions.

My favorite word: Interesting

How many times a day do you find yourself judging yourself, others and the circumstances around you? I can’t believe I just said that, how horrible. Did you hear about xyz buying the house, isn’t that wonderful? Her mother passed away, how sad. I just ate the whole cake by myself; I am such a pig. Did you see the way these people were dressed, how ridiculous.

A few years ago I realized that I couldn’t control my hyper chatty mind commenting on everything all day long. The judgments were a distraction in seeing things, people and myself with compassion and enough neutrality to allow healing, change, evolution or at least peaceful coexistence. Looking to change this habit Spirit suggested to respond to the world by saying ‘interesting’.  And this is what I have been practicing ever since. Did you hear that so and so really doesn’t like you? Interesting, I wonder what is really going on.   My back is hurting. Interesting, I wonder what the reason is. I feel really uncomfortable with this invitation. Interesting, is there something to work through or is my system telling me not to go.

As you can see in these examples one can create some space around the situation to allow room for examination and flexibility, while the judgment could guilt you into auto-piloted behavior.

Go ahead give it a try!

The Courage To Stay With The Question

There is an inherent need in most of us to understand what is going on in our lives.

When I invite people during sessions to let me know what their questions are, often times I get the questions with the possible answers.

"I have digestive issues, because my mother has them."

"I don't allow abundance in my life, because my parents didn't buy me a car for my 16th birthday and ridiculed me for wanting one."

"I have fear of the ocean, because of the shark movie I saw, when I was five years old."

At times we are in such a rush to explain, to others, and ourselves why we are the way that we are, that we jump to the first best conclusion that makes sense. If you ended up with a faulty or incomplete explanation you are blocking the power of the question, which allows the space for more information to come in. Sitting in that space of not knowing can be scary, annoying, boring etc., yet I ask you to try it. Reopen some of your old files and ask again and be open to consider other options. Sometimes a symptom has more than one reason. The digestive problems could be inherited and you could have heavy metal poisoning and you also might be swallowing a lot of negative emotions. In order to resolve the issue, it is necessary to work on all three elements.

At this point I keep my files open until the symptom is gone, because to me that is the real indicator that I found the right answer and trust me the answers are out there, just make sure you keep your antennas on receptive mode.

Beware Of The Back-Door Ego

Anyone who has been doing spiritual work for a while is going to be aware of the power an out of control ego can have on your life, your karma and your evolutionary process.

Some ego productions are very easy to spot. The person that always needs to be the center of attention, the highly competitive, the vanity and greed driven personality will stick out immediately like a sore thumb. It is however the hidden ego that one has to be more concerned about at a certain point in evolution. How about the self-sabotaging soul on a guilt trip? Seemingly there is no ego left that is how bad that person will feel about what they did. If you look closely you will notice however that it was the gigantic ego that thought it couldn't get anything wrong, that refuses to forgive self as a student of life and move on.

Or what about the self-sacrificial person, please everyone eat before me, don't help me I can do it, let me take care of this for you, you seem tired. There might be a very generous person in there, or again an out of control ego viewing everybody else as less strong, capable, courageous, and abundant in resources than self.

I stumbled across another one within myself this morning. Feeling a resistance to share any of my writing in public, I determined the root to be shyness and insecurity. When I dug a bit deeper and asked my boyfriend about his view of the subject matter he pointed out that there was probably was still a strong ego attachment in there somewhere, otherwise I wouldn't be so concerned. The message rang loud and clear. Haven't fully resolved it yet, but hey making peace with being a work in progress is always a good start right?!