Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Faces of Fear


Fear and how to overcome it has been an ongoing topic in my personal life, as well as in many sessions with clients.
One of the things I have learned is that there are all kinds of fears that need very different approaches in order to be resolved.

The following is an overview of a few common types of fears, by no means a complete list.

1. The Trauma Based Fear:
Any trauma leaves an imprint until it is fully healed. This trauma can stem from this life, a past life, or it could be inherited through the DNA. Often times a trauma energy is dormant until a surface situation activates it. It is very common to project the trauma energy on the future, or the present circumstances, especially if one is missing access to the actual memories. (Read post about light and shadow projections for additional info.)
In order to clear this kind of fear the trauma needs to be healed and put in it's proper context. Adopting the student of life perspective (see same titled post) is a helpful first step.

2. The Intuitive Based Fear:
This fear is the one we don't want to get rid of, but closely listen too. It is the one that picks up on information, before you do. It tells you that a person, a situation, a neighborhood isn't safe for you and that you'd better get out of there while you still can.
It does take practice to distinguish this fear from the trauma induced one, because emotionally they register almost the same. My personal experience with this fear is that it strikes in moments that are usually not triggers, while the trauma based fear gets activated over and over again under similar circumstances.

3. The Manipulative Fear
 People use this fear, because they feel the need to solicit extra attention and support from their environment. They might have early on learned that they received more nurturing from a caregiver when they were scared and therefore got conditioned on using their fear as a tool. This fear is very tricky and the person will hysterically believe in its reality, being blind to its real purpose. If you are the one manipulated by ongoing drama of that nature, it is important to practice some tough love. You can do this by giving more attention and love to healthy and self-sufficient behavior. It is also important to encourage the person to mastering the fear when it surfaces.
If you are the one suspecting that you have used fear as a crutch, I would advice to work on becoming my own best friend and to make a pact with myself to face my fear when it surfaces.

4. The Contagious Fear:
At times we can get caught up in a mass panic, the fear that spreads like wildfire (remember the bird flu, or 9-11). It's like an invisible color that enters the energy field and starts to dominate our state of being. I use meditation practices to strengthen myself in times of mass hysteria. I mentally accept my potential fate (like dying of some plague) and deciding to do so in a calm, loving manner. Why worry about things that I have no control over (I'll cross that bridge when I get there, if I get there)? I rather focus on the things I have control over, like my attitude, and I personally rather spend the last days of my life loving, laughing and being grateful than worrying.

There is certainly a lot more to be said on the topic, but I think the recognition of different type of fears is a good starting point.


Helpful Tools 1) Flower Essences

Within all my years dedicated to healing and soul evolution I have found some very helpful tools. The first one I'd like to discuss is the usage of flower essences.
Flower essences are herbal infusions or decoctions, made from the flowering part of the plant, which uniquely address emotional, mental and energetic aspects of wellbeing.

My first encounter with flower essences occurred when I was fourteen years old.
I was in the midst of a teenage temper tantrum (I cannot remember what it was about!) when my mother demanded for me to open mouth. That wasn't very far fetched since it was already pretty much open. She emptied a dropper filled with fluid and left the room.
About a minute later I calmed down totally against my will. I followed her to see what had disrupted my scene. It turned out to be a tiny bottle of Bach Flower Rescue Remedy.

I have been using them ever since. They have helped me take the edge off before hard exams, in moments of painful loss and crisis. I have used them in water to bring dying plants back to life. My five cats rode happily under the influence in the back seat of my car all the way from Austin Texas to California without a cage (and trust me, they weren't trained!). I have recommended them to many people along the way and have gotten a lot of good feedback. They are like homeopathy for the emotional body and can help stabilize that part of us. There are many different companies that offer flower essences. Other than the Bach Flower Rescue Drops, which I always have handy, I personally like the Green Hope Farm Essences (www.greenhopeessences.com).
They cover many items we have to work through in our current time and help address deep seated issues, like past life trauma.

I recommend flower essences when you have been running too much mental and emotional energy and you want your system to assimilate some information and support via other channels.
It is one of the tools I always come back to. Please use your own intuition to know when they call and be open to let the right company/products speak to you.

Movies As Therapy Part I


One of the advantages we have in our modern reality is the ability to watch movies.
The modern version of the storyteller has the power to fulfill many tasks.
The first one is the power to ignite our humor. On days when you can't laugh about yourself, or the circumstances at hand, it can be utterly therapeutic to watch a good comedy and to remember that life isn't as serious as you make it out to be.

Here is a list of comedies that I have enjoyed:
1. Shrek -Parts 1,2,3 and 4
2. Imagine That!
3. The Other Guys
4. Tropic Thunder
5. The Men Who Stare At Goats
6. Burn After Reading
7. Nacho Libre
8. Ghost Town
9. Death At A Funeral
10. The Heartbreak Kid

Remember laughing is healing and powerful and never a waste of your time.
There have been plenty of sticky situations in my life where a breakthrough occurred only after I surrendered with humor. A good movie can be one of the ways to take you there. A funny friend of course, might do even better, and let's not forget the power of the internal comedian.