Love is such an over used word and concept. At the same
time, it's probably the most important ingredient in our spiritual journey
towards enlightenment.
I have seen a lot of issues that arise from misunderstood
concepts of love.
First of all, lets look at different qualities within love.
Our enlightened goal of love is the ability to love
unconditionally without attachments, yet with an open heart. Needless to say,
most of us aren't there yet.
Love can be laced with neediness, light-projections,
codependence, abandonment issues and past trauma etc… In that moment, we don't
purely love the people around us for their sake, but from a selfish place; i.e.
you think your life will be better/more fulfilled if you find the perfect
partner. When you fall in love, these expectations will be projected onto your
partner and conflict will arise when the person falls short in providing you
with what you want.
The codependent approach makes you believe that if you just
support the person enough, they will grow into the potential that you desire.
Light-projection (also read post on light and shadow
projections) will tempt you to edit out any red flags and focus on what you
want to see. Often times, these associations end up as train wrecks, where you
might feel betrayed and utterly disappointed.
The needy prince/princess archetype makes you expect
constant attention from your relationships. When they fall short or are too
wrapped up in themselves, you will get angry and punitive. However, if someone
asked you, you might say, "no I really love them!".
As you can see, it is important to examine the quality of
love we feel and be honest if it is conditional or if it is laced with other
emotions.
Some questions to ask yourself:
1. How punitive am I within my relationships?
2. Do you love the person for who they are today, or the
potential you see once you have fixed them?
3. Do you feel the world owes you due to a prior heartbreak?
If your answer
is yes, do you feel like your current or future partner should make up for it?
4. Do you keep a part of your heart closed/unavailable
because you are afraid to get too close?
5. How possessive and jealous are you?
Be honest with yourself and see if you can purify your love
toward yourself and others.
The other part is how do you express your love?!
Many popular love songs are based on a common mistake:
"I left my heart in Paris…!"
"I lost my heart to Rita, John, Susan, my country, the
orphans…"
So, if you love from the place of giving part or all of you
away, you will end up without that part when the person leaves or dies on you,
oops. You will feel incomplete until next time you run into them, which could
be lifetimes from now.
That is part of the reason why people don't recover well
after certain break-ups.
The more evolved way of loving works as follows:
Look at your heart as a vessel. The love flows through it
towards whom ever. There is no limit as to how much love flows through. The
more you love the more you gain because the frequency of love is like energetic
vitamins flowing through you. If the person moves away, you can still love them
without losing any aspects of self. You keep your freedom and energetic
independence, whether you are in a relationship or not.
If we give pieces of ourselves away we are limited to how
many times we can love. The heart is like a pie, when you have given your last
piece away, you are done.
If you approach your heart as a vessel, you are always able
to channel an infinite amount of love for yourself and others (that includes
puppies, plants locations, jobs etc).
A good approach
to practice the proper energetic love flow is chakra meditation.
In case you already gave your heart away, here is the good
news:
You can get it back!!!
How?
Ask God/Divine Source/ your Angels and any other divinely
aligned beings you work with to return all aspects of yourself from all time
transformed and purified and reintegrate them into your being. Ask for all
energies within yourself that had taken their space to be cleared from you in
all time and all space to be transformed and purified with everything they have
caused and created. Then send them back to their proper place in the Universe.
And then give thanks!
As always, awareness is the first and most important step to
take in order to improve any situation and condition.
