The Hallmark Relationship Illusion

If you were given the task to write down what a mother-daughter, romantic, sibling, friendship relationship should be, you would most likely have no problem outlining the basic qualities. If you compare your notes with reality, how many relationships fall short of what you think they should be?

Most people have a romantic (hallmark) version of relationships that they use to measure reality by. Whenever that standard isn't fulfilled one either is disappointed, hurt and uses possibly punitive towards the other party, or it could build up internally as insecurities (I am not enough, I am not loveable etc.).

Now let's look at relationships as a classroom, no two marriages, friendships, parent-child relations are exactly alike. Each classroom is set up for very specific lessons.

 i.e. your mother might be an enemy from a past life, both of you being given a chance to find forgiveness this time around, the partner that is so different from you might have been contracted to teach you unconditional love and to let go of romantic expectations.

Letting go of the notion of what a relationship should be is the important first step.

Recognizing that what ever is manifesting in your life is perfect for your soul evolution, which can be very different from ego gratification.

Now take a look at what is the truth about a current relationship. Write down the basic qualities that are present and ask, what could be some possible lessons here?

Are there strong emotions present, that can't be explained through circumstantial evidence this lifetime? If so, you are most likely dealing with a karmic component.

Karma always seeks to resolve itself. Forgiveness, willingness to take responsibility for one's own journey and lessons, and the ability to let go of responsibilities that are not ours to carry are some of the tools that can be helpful to resolve and reshape ourselves and relationships with others.

At times guilt or abandonment issues might make us create relationships where we have to give a lot more than we receive. If that is the case the key is within, it is not the other person's job to start to give more, when you have a big stop sign on your aura.

So dare to take a step back and investigate what you have in front of you. That is the best way to start to resolve, learn and move on from any internal and external dysfunction