What Are You Feeding Your Hungry Ghost?

I am borrowing the term 'Hungry Ghost' lightly from the Buddhist Tradition. It refers to the aspect(s) of self that believe/demand to be fed by external circumstances. This is supported by the notion that once you have been provided enough 'food', the hunger will go away. The ghost could go after everything from money, to attention, to fame, to material goods, to education, to love etc.

The problem with these soul aspects is that their hunger can never be fulfilled through an external source and, if entertained, can lead to much distress and dissatisfaction in one's life.

It is crucial to recognize these parts for what they are 'hungry ghosts'.

That is always the first step.

I used to feed mine moves. Geographic moves, that is, believing that if I found just the right location, my life would be that much cooler. I allowed myself 17 moves in 10 years, before I realized that I kept recreating similar circumstances wherever I went.

 I finally turned the camera inward to really create the changes I was after. (I know, can anybody say heavy on the wire, slow study, only took me 10 years to figure that one out!? Well, more reason to work on patience, compassion and forgiveness!)

The second step is to determine what gave birth to the 'ghost'?

Usually soul aspects that can't be satisfied by anything that is happening in the present are suffering from past trauma and are still waiting for a past wrong to be righted, which is impossible, since it already happened. Usually, these aspects feel victimized by what happened to them, which means they need to review the trauma through the student of life lens. (Also read posts 'Becoming A Student Of Life', 'The Only Way Out Is In', 'Practicing For Enlightenment')

It is important to find a way of making peace with the trauma and healing it from the inside. As long as you give your power away to external circumstances, events and people will ultimately fall short in their performance, which can lead to a lot of conflict in relationships.

Also, be aware when you are dealing with the demands of 'hungry ghosts' in your loved ones, because no matter what you do, you won't be able to get it right. I have seen that lead to abusive patterns, which ultimately bring most relationships to their knees.

Saying no to the demands, and opening a dialogue might lead to healing or a break-up, but as Buddha said:

"If you can't find suitable companions for the journey, it is better to travel alone!"