What is Your Relationship to Your Avatar?

If you’re already living a soul conscious life, you are aware of the fact that you are not your human body. I refer to the human body as the human avatar, the vessel that the soul rides around in while going through its three-dimensional earth experience.

As a soul looking in the mirror, you most likely will have an opinion about how you feel about your avatar. Since we change avatars each lifetime, we will all have avatars that we love and that we feel are a good reflection of our soul energy, as well as avatars that we don’t like and so-so ones.

Now remember, that this is a school and things aren’t always what they appear.

Any avatar, even a seemingly unfitting one, can serve an educational purpose and become a spiritual teacher.

I had the interesting experience this life to be racist against my avatar. My soul had made peace with every race on earth other than the Europeans.  As a kid, I didn’t have a concept of that yet. All I knew was that I didn’t like my skin color. I couldn’t wait to get a tan or dress up and wear make-up to play a gypsy or a Native-American.  I went through years of self-loathing and I didn’t treat my body with much consideration. It didn’t feel like me and I was going to do everything not to be in it.

As the years went by, I’ve been graced with insight, healing and wisdom that have led to a different attitude and has allowed me to embrace my avatar with compassion and love.  I remember the day I realized how much I loathed being German.

I was in college and I was very much looking forward to spending my summer on a Native American reservation. Culturally these felt like my people.

A group of friends and I arrived exhausted after a two day cross-country road trip.

We were tired but very excited. The girl in charge of our accommodations had assured us that our host families would be waiting for us.

When we got there, we were welcomed with cool suspicion. Nobody wanted to take us in. Sitting in the back of the jeep at a gas station figuring out what to do, my eyes met a group of Natives going to the store. In their eyes blatant hate. I don’t blame them. They saw the enemy. I wanted to shout. “Please see my truth, I am not one of them. I am one of you.”

I understood her disdain for me, because I felt the same way. One of my friends and I decided not to stay. We were too ashamed and embarrassed and we didn’t want to impose. We ended up spending the summer with her family in Cleveland, Ohio.

It was a painful lesson for I realized that I couldn’t escape my external reality. It took me many years to make peace with my avatar and my heritage, especially since post World War II Germany represented the bottom of the pile.  For me, it was bad enough to be European, but being German felt like an utter disgrace.

I have come to realize that this lesson was perfect. There was no better way for me to heal my remaining racist tendencies than to have been given the avatar that I have.

These days, I make it my own by letting my soul energy shine through and by taking extra good care of it. After all, it is my home on this planet this lifetime. It has also given me the gift to not judge another book by its cover but to be curious about the soul that resides inside the avatar. It’s freeing and I am grateful for the opportunity.

So back to my original question:

How is your relationship with your avatar?

If it is not that great yet, I hope that you’ll feel inspired to work on it.

After all, any avatar is like a mini-universe with all of its little cells and bio-chemical processes. It depends on you to take care of it and it is working hard for us every day.

If you don’t learn your lesson this lifetime, you might have to repeat it….

In case you are one of the lucky recipients of the perfect soul/avatar match. Congratulations!

Please have compassion for the rest of us.

Choose to Become a KSI Detective!

What’s a KSI (Karmic Soul Investigation) detective you might ask?

A KSI detective is someone who has decided to get to the bottom of his/her issues, someone who is tired of being a victim of fate, and someone who is awake enough as a soul to acknowledge that there is more to life that meets the eye.

A KSI detective is willing to pay attention to clues and to ask difficult questions.

A KSI detective is not going to jump to easy conclusions but has the patience to wait and to investigate until the case is solved.

KNOW THYSELF

We are more than the sum of our personality experiences. If you are reading this blog, you are most likely aware of your soul self. In many cases that soul self comes with unresolved trauma and karmic knots.

We all can continue to live our life from the place of our personalities. We can be disciplined, hard working and do all the “right” things and yet, this doesn’t guarantee success, health or happiness.

When you keep stumbling over and over again, it might be time to start asking the “right” question(s). And the million-dollar question(s) is (are):

“What is truly blocking me? What am I stumbling over? Am I voting “yes” on my own success? Where does the extreme fear/guilt/grief come from? Am I ready to face/heal/forgive?”

I like the analogy of being a detective. It adds a bit more practicality and scientific research to the mix than certain more esoteric approaches.

Personally, I like to have my spiritual practice integrated into every day life.

In meditation we learn to strengthen our observer selves. It’s the part of the conscience that like the neutral narrator can keep track of all aspects of self without judging them.

That narrator can easily be turned into the KSI detective.

“Interesting, what do we have here…looks like another clue. The emotional body is experiencing an anger tsunami every time X opens her/his mouth. Instead of reacting I will mediate on it because I do not wish to continue my karmic entanglements with X into the next ten future lives. So, let me see. What exactly is it that triggers me? Is it the neediness in the tone? Is it the fact that X always tries to boss me around? Do I feel responsible/helpless/entitled in regards to my relationship with X? Is this pattern only obvious with X or have I felt this before with other people that are similar to X?”

And just like that, a good KSI detective has opened his/her first case file.

If we don’t address deep-seated issues at the root, we will repeat them in one form or another, sooner or later.

We can use every day life to start collecting clues for the world continuously reflects us back to ourselves.

Therefore, some KSI detectives might derive some helpful clues from their acknowledgment of their road rage, or their anxiety towards public speaking, or their fear of drowning, or the fact that period movies playing in the early 1700 England always evoke a deep sense of heartbreak and loss.

Whatever it is, trust that the clues that stick out in your life are the road map to truly knowing yourself and your soul and to pave a way for deep soul healing.

Maybe it’s time for you to become a KSI detective this lifetime. If so, stay tuned for more helpful tools in future posts.

If not, enjoy the ride anyway…

Welcome Back, Website and Intro to KSI (Karmic Soul Investigation)!

Hi Everyone!

I hope this finds you well and that you are enjoying your summer or winter if you are in the southern hemisphere.

It’s been a while (a few months to be precise) since my last post.

My creative juices have finally returned and I am hopeful to write on a weekly basis again. So welcome back to my blog and welcome back to my writer self (I’ve missed you)…

Many things have transpired in the last few months.

One of them…I was finally able to launch my website:

www.infiniteskyonline.com

If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out!

It was a hard birth and I couldn’t have done it without help.

Many thanks go to Juan Rosenfeldt for designing it and his never-ending patience in the process. His amazing talent to build a brand visually, as well as, capture its authentic soul essence was priceless. Not to mention the countless hours of personal coaching (that it took for me to make a decision) and his love and support. (I couldn’t have done it without him!) I am eternally grateful…

Check out more of his great work at:

www.freerange.tv

Also, thanks to Erica Schreiber for helping me find the words to give KSI a comprehensible structure and to make everything else sound that much better.

Her website is:

www.lightlabstudios.com

I am also extremely grateful to my sister Kay for believing in me, for being the best sister anyone could have and for being by my side every step of the way as we discovered and developed tools for KSI over the course of the last 20 years.

And of course, I am also grateful and in awe of the amazing mystery of the Great Divine Spirit without whom this whole adventure called life wouldn’t be happening in the first place.

From the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU!!!!

After years of working as a soul coach and being an inspired student of life continuously seeking new modalities for healing and personal evolution, I finally came up with a structure that serves as an umbrella for the work that I do- KSI (Karmic Soul Investigation).

If you are interested in the details, check out the KSI section of my website.

From now on, I will include KSI tips and tools as part of my blog posts.

They will stay in line with my brand promise, which is to offer practical tools for the ancient soul in the modern world.

It is good to be back! More to come soon!

All the best,

Nicole

The Power in Facing the Truth and why it is Important to be Brutally Honest with Self!

There is a saying: Heal to become whole to be come holy!

Most of us are in the process of healing at this point in time.

After thousands (plus-plus-plus) of years of epic miles traveled, glory and mayhem, war and peace, love and loss, the time has come for the amnesia to lift and for our soul-selves to remember and to heal. In order to heal, we have to find the courage to face the truth as we gaze into the divine mirror of eternity and embark on the adventure of going deep within to remember who we really are.

And guess what, sometimes that just ain’t pretty.

Many ancient and old souls pride themselves in the memories of their glory days.

It’s easy to remember and integrate our favorite lifetimes.

The temples, the magic, the power, the pyramids and oh, how those crowds could cheer…next stop enlightenment.

And yes, you were beautiful and kind and the most popular person in your town.

And yes, you also were generous and a gifted healer and the voice of wisdom among your peers.

It is easy for many of us to twirl in the shininess and perfection of our favorite lifetimes, especially if we are not too amused with our present circumstances.

But whoawhoawhoa, not so fast! What about all those little seemingly unimportant pieces of the soul stuck somewhere in the timeline? What about all those painful losses, the time when you were so greedy that you were willing to walk over dead bodies in order to get what you want? And the time when you were too drunk to watch your toddler who ended up drowning in the river by your house? And then there is the trail of disappointed lovers whose heart you broke by walking away, cheating on them or making them pay for all of your unfulfilled dreams? And the pain you felt when your house burnt down and you watched helplessly as your whole family perished? And all the times you were abandoned and seemingly nobody wanted you? And the times you had to play second-class citizen and your back was aching so badly you could barley stand and your hands were bleeding and there was no end in sight to the misery?

Remember, you have to be whole in order to become holy. Making peace with your story and tying up loose ends is an important part of the process. It is not very glamorous, yet very necessary.

For many of us it is much easier to integrate all the bright and shiny aspects of ourselves but it is the parts that are still traumatized or/and feel guilty that will keep you from progressing on our journey.

At the end of the day, the truth is the truth, no matter what illusions you’d like to believe and hold onto. Sooner or later, it will have to be faced and if you indeed are an old soul, I reckon that it’s fair to say that it’s later. Unless of course, you are taking your time within the eternal NOW in which case you might as well skip this post for the time being.

Spiritual ego, move over! Courage, give me the strength to face myself!

As you walk through life your awareness will leak clues to indicate unresolved energetic issues. Pay attention!

If a specific pattern repeats over and over again, pay attention!

When you have a strong emotion to somebody or someone and you overreact, pay attention!

Here are some pointers and tools that I have found helpful in my own process and when I work with clients. As always, use your discernment and add on as needed:

1. Soul gaze with yourself in the mirror. Sit in front of a mirror and make intense eye contact with yourself. Take note, how do you feel about yourself? Can you send love, compassion, patience and forgiveness your way? At times, as you increase the duration of your soul gazing sessions, you might find that your face shifts and reflects distortion or the energetic haze of lifetimes you have lived (that could mean you get the brief impression of a different race, gender, facial features or time period). Once you reach a stage of having integrated and healed all aspects of self there will be stillness to your experience and the face will radiate a deep-seated clarity.

2. Some people find hypnotherapy and past life regression therapy very helpful. That way you can face certain aspects that need your attention on your internal screen and then decide how best to work with it. No matter what it is, remember, all experiences serve a purpose and will add to your wisdom and maturity as a soul once they are healed and integrated. Always, investigate your unresolved past life data wearing your student-of-life hat. Being stuck in victim or violator conscience will slow down your healing process.

3. Are you familiar with the psychological exercise of working with your inner child?

Basically, you play the part of the parent to yourself when you have childhood trauma and emotions surface, so that you don’t have to react from that place to the world around you.

The same approach and idea can be adopted to work with fragmented soul pieces.

When you feel like something within you is being triggered that goes beyond your now-persona, tune in to yourself and see what kind of aspect of self is acting out. Ask to be shown a visual and establish communication with that aspect of self.

See what it wants and needs for healing and what it has to say. When these soul-aspects are healed, they tend to merge with the rest of self and lose their specific characteristics. That’s the integration work of the soul. Like drops of water ceasing to be individuals when they hit the surface of a lake or the ocean.

All soul pieces are on their way back home in order to merge with all of you.

It is the job of the healing process to facilitate this process.

4. Pay attention to your judgments. Anything and anyone that we have a strong response to most likely points to some unresolved past life file. There is a good chance that you have played the part of the people that you judge the most harshly.

Internalizing and meditating on these feelings instead of projecting them outwards can be a helpful tool to alchemize deep-seated unaligned soul currents.

You know that you have completed the process when you can look at the same situation that you formerly judged with neutrality and compassion.

Godspeed

Enjoy the journey and remember that darkness is the absence of light.

Allow yourself to fulfill your divine destiny by embracing all of you and standing in your truth.

Everyone is welcomed home, no matter how messy the journey has been.

You’ll see in the end it’s all good!