To Self-Improve or Self-Accept, That Is The Question!

Oh, the continuous burden of choice in this reality can drive one up the walls!

After all the hoopla in our very industrial-revolutionized, efficient, competitive, bottom-line driven society in regards to maximizing one’s potential, it is absolutely no wonder that the Self-help industry is an increasingly growing sector of our economy.  Self-improvement seems to reign supreme and win, hands down.

The other day, I stumbled across an article where the author, fed up with all the self-improvement gadgets and hype was urging his readers to stop self-improving and to work on self-accepting. Interesting, I thought as I read the piece, he certainly had me hooked until about half way through his article. That is when he started coming up with some concrete examples. 

Here are a couple of the ones, I remember:

1. If you have bad skin, stop spending money on beauty products and love yourself and accept yourself just the way you are.

2. If you are overweight and you struggle to diet, stop worrying about it and love all of you.

Here is where my brain feverishly started interjecting questions?

But what happens if the weight poses a health risk and you develop diabetes that could have been prevented? What if you don’t feel good in your own skin and you really want to get back to manifest your fullest healthiest potential? What if your skin is sending you a message that your liver is overworked and your body is desperately crying for help? What if you are suffering from heavy metal toxicity and ignoring the surface symptoms will make things much worse?

In my book, these are all situations where I choose to self-improve but the concept of self-acceptance still does ring a strong bell.

I walked away from reading the article, not being able to shake it off completely, even though I disagreed with the examples given.

One day, while I took a shower (always a place of great epiphanies for me), it dawned on me how the pieces could fit together.

Yes, in our society we strive at times for things that are unachievable for us this lifetime. So, let’s work on self-accepting the things we can’t change i.e. body height, family heritage, the past and choices made, karmic contracts, talents or the lack of etc. Let’s learn to make peace with our true natures and realize there is always somebody bigger, brighter or cooler around the next corner.

But by all means let’s keep self-improving in all the areas where we know that we are slacking and where we are called to self-improve, grow, learn, evolve and heal because the lessons don’t go away and symptoms do tend to get louder if we ignore them.

So let’s self-accept while we continue to self-improve, which will guarantee a smoother ride!

Embrace The Mystery, ‘Cause Soul Evolution Isn’t A Linear Process!

How do you view life? Do you think it is a logical process? Do you believe in paradigms that promise you “a+b=c”? Do you hold on to the notion that once you reach the top of the pyramid (pun intended for those of you with a background in Ancient Egypt!) you will get to remain there?

If you answered yes, to any of the above, my question to you is:

“How is that working for you? So, you have been recognized again as the chosen one? Oh, did they return your castle? Well, good for you, if indeed that happened!”

For the rest of us mortals, we have to make peace with the fact that the karmic wheel just keeps going ‘round and ‘round.

For me, this realization came as quite the rude awakening. My calculations weren’t working and my expectations were continuously disappointed. Eventually, it took a while, since I am rather stubborn in nature, I surrendered and humbly made space for the mysteries in life.

In the process, I learned and accepted the fact that the divine plan is a lot more multi-dimensional than our egos would like to believe.

Let me give you a couple of examples:

Imagine a spiritual leader who is meditating twelve hours a day and who treats his followers very well, what do you think his next life would look like?

Maybe, it would be another one of spiritual focus or he might live as a starving actor in New York, or be a baker in a small town in France or a goat farmer in Greece or perhaps a University professor in Moscow. In fact, he may have very high amnesia and not seem very spiritual at all. Now, why would that be?

Perhaps this soul lost touch with the people and felt superior, therefore he is choosing a life that is more rooted in humility and to remember what it feels like to make ends meet. Or, he might be tested on how well he can hold his balance if he doesn’t have the support of a spiritual organization which provides a lot of peace and quiet. So, theoretically any kind of life can flow into a series of new forms, which one wouldn’t expect if you were looking to find a linear process.

Do you expect to find the perfect love under specific conditions?

I.e. You think your karma is good enough, you are attractive, you bring perks to the relationship, you love yourself, you have done your affirmations, you have made space for it and so on and so forth.

Now, look at the world around you. Have you ever seen anyone who doesn’t fit these criteria who has a lot of love in their life? And on the flip side, have you ever seen anyone who fits the profile perfectly and more and who is alone?

Why would that be if life were a logical linear process?

So, let’s apply ourselves as well as we can to the lessons and the experience at hand and then let go and surrender to the mysteries of life.

Be Aware Of The Amnesia Gauge!

If you are reading this bog post, chances are that your soul amnesia level has started to recede and you are tapping into more of your soul awareness.

To clarify this topic, I’d like to address the terms personality vs. soul reality.

Personality is the reality that gets created each lifetime. In order for the soul to fully believe the parts it is playing, we spend a certain amount of lifetimes with a high level of soul amnesia. In those lives we don’t remember who we were before, it is unlikely to recognize other souls (even if we know them well) and we don’t have to deal with past life trauma.

The soul reality on the other hand, has access to all the realities you have ever lived, which means as the amnesia lifts from your consciousness you have more access to past life memories, as well, as the recognition of other souls that you love and have known for a long time is immediate.

The lifting of the amnesia veil happens in different stages for different people.

So here is where the issue and the confusion starts, souls that are more awake running into souls that are less awake or not at all, attempting to communicate.

Imagine your soul is aware enough to recognize another soul that you have loved for many centuries. That soul, however, is still deeply asleep and doesn’t have an inkling of who you are. Your journey might have been a bit lonely and you are deeply hurt and feel rejected. Depending on your overall  demeanor you might:

a)    Turn into a missionary and try to force them to wake up.

b)   Be very hurt and have all of your abandonment issues surface and then throw yourself a gigantic pity-party.

c)    Spend weeks or months wondering what’s wrong with you and what happened that this former lover of yours is no longer attracted.

d)   Work on patience, unconditional love and trusting divine timing.

Either way, you will most likely have a strong reaction.

Therefore, I suggest adding another tool to your toolbox, which is called

“The Amnesia Gauge”.

The better you are able to discern how awake a fellow traveler is, the more you’ll be able to understand what is happening and to be patient with the people in your life.

Easiest form of measurement will be to ask:

Is the person in front of me less, more or equally awake as myself?

People that don’t believe in past lives are usually not awake at all.

Most people whose amnesia has started to lift have developed some awareness of their energetic bodies and soul reality.

Throwing out some philosophical discussion topics are usually a good way to fish for initial gauge analysis.

I.e.Do you belief in reincarnation? What’s your religious/spiritual background?

If the person does have a high level of amnesia I suggest not pushing them.

We all have to learn to accept our fellow travelers educational choices and it doesn’t help to project our impatience and loneliness onto them.

I do my best to meet people where they are at instead of overwhelming them with a reality that will appear impossible to them from where they are standing.

Having a good gauge can lead to added internal and external peace in your life.

Good news, one of these days they will wake up and know exactly who you are and how much they love you, so don’t despair! This too shall pass!

Discernment - Every Contract Is Different

We live in a very result based society and there is no shortage of programs and methods that promise, if we follow their rules, we certainly can’t fail. How many times have you bought into such a promise and after a while have disappointedly given up, possibly feeling more like a failure than before?

The truth is that a lot of these programs will work for somebody, maybe even somebody that you know, so why not you? The conclusion I have come to, is that life is a treasure hunt, each of us volts with unique combinations according to our karmic contracts and individual lessons. It is therefore absolutely crucial to use discernment and allow yourself to find your next clue, even if that pathway looks boring or stupid to your friends and family (it would have to, if it’s not their path). Also keep in mind that certain symptoms/lessons need more than one clue to be resolved i.e. if you have chronic headaches, you might be dealing with a past-life trauma, a toxicity issue and a tendency to overuse your mental body. All three items would have to be addressed in order to rid yourself of the headaches. Therefore I encourage you to be creative, inquisitive and to have stamina and patience, knowing that the clue is somewhere around.

(Guilt from this or past life is a major saboteur in recognizing clues; if you feel like you have been stuck to long it might be time for some self-forgiveness work:)

Modern Day Vampires- They Are After Your Energy, Not Your Blood!

The legend of vampires is ancient and many people might look at it as a myth. Yet there are many ancient myths that carry truth and concepts into our modern day world, vampires just being one of them.
If you look at the image of one being preying on another to survive, you can see that the idea of vampirism isn't too far fetched. The specific kind I want to address is the one that preys on your energy body.

A lot of the time, our modern day vampires are very charming, entertaining, they might be good listeners. On the flip side, the less pleasant version might be a bit more manipulative, provoking you to feel guilty or selfish, if you don't share the goods (your energy). And then there is the silent type; the person at the supermarket, or the party that takes your energy without you ever noticing their existence. Like a thief, as sneaky as a pick-pocked they walk off with part of your belongings.

The way you will know that you got robbed is usually an inexplicable sudden dip in your energy. You were fine walking into the meeting and two hours later you are utterly exhausted, even though you had a pleasant time.
At some point, you might feel burdened by a relationship but the other person has always been so nice to you, that it makes you feel guilty even admitting it to yourself.
Some people respond with anger towards energetic vampires. (Also read post 'The Gauges') You might look like you are being difficult and unfair towards that person, but really listen to the message the anger or annoyance is communicating to you.

The good news is that:
a) you can get your energy back, if you notice that it got stolen and
b)you can work on your energetic protection so that vampires can't plug into your field.

How do you do that?
By asking for it. You may or may not be aware that the divine forces are only allowed to intervene, if we ask for help, unless it is an emergency.
As soon as you realize that some of your energy has been stolen, you ask for it back.

Who do you ask?
You put out your request/prayer to Divine Source/God and any Angel or Master you are working with and you ask for all of your truthful energy to be returned to you in all time and all space healed, transformed and purified (you don't want your laundry back dirty, do you? Who knows where it has been!)
The same way you would request protection in all time and all space. I usually visualize a bubble of white light around me where and vampire will get zapped, if they try to steal anything (why not teach a little lesson, while we are at it?).

Two pointers:
1. If you get robbed of energy even though you had your protection in place, ask yourself where your crack was. Usually you will find yourself having some pity, guilt or anger towards that person who undermined your result not to feed them anymore.
2. Have compassion for the vampires. Even though their actions towards you aren't very nice, remember that the soul's that choose to steal from others, usually feel very depleted and have lost their own connection to Divine Life Force, therefore feeling like they have to take from others. After protecting myself and getting my own energies back, I usually pray for their healing so they might put their vampire ways to rest.

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Says Who?

When it comes to authority, there are those we blindly give our power to.

The other day, I had a lady at my house for a session. She was utterly distressed about a message she had received from a very famous intuitive. The message didn't resonate with her at all, but considering the source she felt confident that the predicted event would surely take place. This is not the first time this has happened. Many people give their power away to authorities of spiritual, religious, medical or other expertly nature. And that is how we end up following pathways that are not in alignment with our souls.

"I got married and had children, because that is what my parents and peers expected of me. It didn't feel right, but what can you do? I didn't want to be a disappointment."

"One has to drink alcohol at these kind of events. It would look weird if I didn't. I don't want to be ridiculed."

"I have this dream of traveling the world, but my spiritual advisor said no, so I won't go."

There are countless moments when we go against our instincts due to negativity from a source of authority.

My advice is the following:

Listen carefully to any counsel given. See if it resonates for you. If it doesn't, question the source. We are all human and nobody has all the answers. In the end, you have to trust your own intuition and allow it to override any external source.

Remember, this world is a big illusion, things and people aren't always what they appear to be. The 'devil' could appear in any form, and so could an 'angel'. Therefore discernment is absolutely necessary, when navigating the sometimes, treacherous waters of planet earth.

The Faces of Fear

Fear and how to overcome it has been an ongoing topic in my personal life, as well as in many sessions with clients.

One of the things I have learned is that there are all kinds of fears that need very different approaches in order to be resolved.

The following is an overview of a few common types of fears, by no means a complete list.

1. The Trauma Based Fear:

Any trauma leaves an imprint until it is fully healed. This trauma can stem from this life, a past life, or it could be inherited through the DNA. Often times a trauma energy is dormant until a surface situation activates it. It is very common to project the trauma energy on the future, or the present circumstances, especially if one is missing access to the actual memories. (Read post about light and shadow projections for additional info.)

In order to clear this kind of fear the trauma needs to be healed and put in it's proper context. Adopting the student of life perspective (see same titled post) is a helpful first step.

2. The Intuitive Based Fear:

This fear is the one we don't want to get rid of, but closely listen too. It is the one that picks up on information, before you do. It tells you that a person, a situation, a neighborhood isn't safe for you and that you'd better get out of there while you still can.

It does take practice to distinguish this fear from the trauma induced one, because emotionally they register almost the same. My personal experience with this fear is that it strikes in moments that are usually not triggers, while the trauma based fear gets activated over and over again under similar circumstances.

3. The Manipulative Fear

 People use this fear, because they feel the need to solicit extra attention and support from their environment. They might have early on learned that they received more nurturing from a caregiver when they were scared and therefore got conditioned on using their fear as a tool. This fear is very tricky and the person will hysterically believe in its reality, being blind to its real purpose. If you are the one manipulated by ongoing drama of that nature, it is important to practice some tough love. You can do this by giving more attention and love to healthy and self-sufficient behavior. It is also important to encourage the person to mastering the fear when it surfaces.

If you are the one suspecting that you have used fear as a crutch, I would advice to work on becoming my own best friend and to make a pact with myself to face my fear when it surfaces.

4. The Contagious Fear:

At times we can get caught up in a mass panic, the fear that spreads like wildfire (remember the bird flu, or 9-11). It's like an invisible color that enters the energy field and starts to dominate our state of being. I use meditation practices to strengthen myself in times of mass hysteria. I mentally accept my potential fate (like dying of some plague) and deciding to do so in a calm, loving manner. Why worry about things that I have no control over (I'll cross that bridge when I get there, if I get there)? I rather focus on the things I have control over, like my attitude, and I personally rather spend the last days of my life loving, laughing and being grateful than worrying.

There is certainly a lot more to be said on the topic, but I think the recognition of different type of fears is a good starting point.

Light - And Shadow - Projections

Accurate perception of the world and the people around us is one of the key ingredients of how well one can navigate the waters of reality. I am sure that you have had situations where you ended up disappointed that somebody didn't meet your expectations, or you had to apologize to someone after harshly judging them, because that person or a related event turned out a lot better than you had thought.

At the root of these occurrences we often times find projections.

Think of them as a movie projector that plays it's own (your internal) movies on top of the reality the way it really is. It's like sitting in a cinema while a movie is playing and the person arriving late walks in front of the screen. You can perceive the outline and the shadow that is cast on the screen, but you don't really see the color clothes or the tone of the skin, because the colors of the movie will fill in that information for you. Our own internal movies often times get  produced by our fantasies, actual traumatic experiences in the past, cultural belief systems, ego demands etc.

During light projections the movie is healthier, brighter, more aligned than reality, while the shadow projector makes the situation/person appear darker, scarier, meaner, and sicker than they truly are.

So let's say you have a good hearted, trust-worthy person, who believes that most humans operate under the same principals. They might have a tendency to light project their own nature onto other people. This person could go so far as to overlook warning signs, because with the honor code in place it would feel too negative to say, "I can't trust this individual".

Instead the conclusion would be "everybody deserves a chance, what's wrong with me to have such negative thoughts?"

The decision to ignore ones instincts can come at a high price and the disappointments can be very traumatic. The real lesson of course is to be willing to see reality as it is, even if that is uncomfortable at times.

If due to past trauma one would come to the conclusion i.e. that all rich people are evil and cold, certain opportunities might not be taken. The rich person that offered you the loan for your dream business was turned down, meanwhile the inner victim screams, "why does God never give me a break?"

In my journey through life I have chosen to pay close attention to my old movies and to take them off the projector.

Here are some indicators that alert me:

1.  Generalization - all situations/people of that nature are good/bad

2. Emotional Overreaction - I am too upset/ angry/ scared considering the actual situation at hand

3. This person is just like me/ or like somebody I know very well

4. This person/situation is the answer to all of my problems

Getting rid of projections makes the ride a bit smoother and gives the people in our lives a fairer chance to be seen in their truths.

The Importance Of Art And Objects In your Life

One of the services I offer is house clearing. Over the last fifteen years, I've had the opportunity to visit hundreds of homes and properties from one-bedroom apartments to mansions and everything in between noticing over and over again that physical esthetics and energetics don't always go hand in hand. That means you could have beautiful handcrafted antique with horrible energy attached to it. Therefore, I suggest looking at your environment from at least two different angles.

1. Do the items in your house physically reflect who you are and how you want to feel?

a) Are there any items from your past that continuously remind you of an ex, not allowing you to move forward? In that case, consider getting rid of them or at least moving them into storage for a while.

b) Pictures and paintings can have a strong impact on how we feel. Look at colors and images and determine if they are support or block the vision and goals you have for yourself and your life. Allow yourself to remove things, even if they are cool or somebody you like very much gave them to you.

c) Clutter, like every good Feng-Shui book will tell you, should be eliminated. Objects that we neglect and no longer cherish can create a major energy suck on your environment. Do yourself and them a favor and release them back into the flow, so they can find a new home where they are wanted.

2. Pay attention to the energetic reality of objects.

Sometimes objects pass all the obvious inspections, yet something about a corner of a room feels heavier/darker/ more uncomfortable than it should.

If that is the case examine things closely, possibly remove all the items and put them back one at a time to determine which one(s) is/are carrying the energetic pollution.

If nothing lifts the issue, it's most certainly that the energy of the house or the property is off. The good news is most things can be cleared. The first important step is to recognize when an energetic clearing is necessary, for you want to provide yourself and loved ones with the most supportive environment at home (unless of course you have some unresolved guilt issue, or other lessons to learn).

And as always, have fun while doing so, you can learn a lot about yourself and the world from the comfort of your own home, simply by paying attention and rethinking/examining your choices.

P.S. I will discuss energy clearings further in a future blog!