Develop The Courage To Choose Love Over Fear!

Most of us carry a fair amount of unresolved trauma in regards to love relationships.

The way we have loved in the past has left us heartbroken when the person of our affection died or abandoned us.  

Why?

Because we tend to give parts of our heart away and we attach our future expectations, our happiness, our fulfillment and our completeness to the loved one. We give up our vertical alignment that keeps us firmly rooted in Divine source and replace it with a horizontal alignment firmly rooted in our love relationship. When the space between you and the other person gets altered, it is natural that we not only lose our balance, but also part of ourselves. These kinds of break-ups are so painful that it leaves the system in a state of shock and trauma. If the wound isn’t properly treated, it doesn’t fully heal. Imagine a broken bone that wasn’t properly set into place when it grew back together, it can deprive you of regaining the full range of motion of your arm or leg. Now add a few centuries of losses and break-ups to the mix; the heart becomes more and more distorted, closed down and our natural response is a fear of love and closeness.

We develop all kinds of coping mechanisms that make us leave people before they have a chance to leave us. We avoid souls that we fear could play a major part in our lives. We sabotage relationships, push people away and create drama, especially in the early stages of a new relationship, just to avoid another train wreck.

This kind of behavior is understandable, of course, but may I point out, you are choosing fear over love. It’s a free-will Universe, so you can continue to choose from that place of fear and trauma as long as you like. Or, you can choose to start the healing process for your heart and find the courage to choose love again.

Here are a few pointers:

1. Instead of giving parts of yourself away when you love, imagine your heart as a vessel that love flows through. As it flows through you, you get replenished. The divine realms freely give love to you and it’s your job to learn how to freely love others. (Also read post “How do you Love?”)

2. Heal your past trauma! How? There are many different avenues. Remind yourself that every relationship experience is a classroom designed to bring you a step closer towards enlightenment and an ability to stand on your own with proper vertical alignment. Figure out your soul’s lessons within traumatic experiences.

It’s harder to heal when we hold onto the notion that love isn’t safe.

3. All the souls you have ever loved and those who have loved you are never truly lost to you. Allow yourself to connect to them via meditation.  Use your heart chakra as a starting place. Sit quietly and ask your spiritual guides and Divine Source to allow you to feel/be shown all the soul connections that are still alive.

4. Get your soul pieces back! The heart as vessel needs to be complete in order to function properly. If too many pieces are missing, we tend to be more needy and flowing energy and love through our heart will have a spaghetti strainer effect. Sometimes we miss the parts of ourselves lost more than we actually miss the person or the relationship. Check out the post “Clearing Manual” to learn how to ask for soul pieces back.

5. Learn to distinguish between true love and obsessive emotions. A lot of times, I find that people call all kinds of strong emotions love.  Really check if you love the person or if you are looking to control and own them. If you truly love, you will have their best interest at heart, which means you will be able to love them with an open palm policy. Allow people around you to be free. If you are meant to be and stay in a relationship with them, it will happen.

6. Remember: Every production on planet earth will ultimately be a wrap! Even if you meet the right person and share 50 great years together, one of you will most likely die first. Making peace with loss, which is a part of life, allows us to choose love over fear! You don’t want to shut out one of your favorite souls just because they died on you in a past life, do you?

7. A new love will defrost parts of the heart that haven’t been healed or lived in for a while. That’s what makes powerful, new relationships scary and often prompts us to withdraw. Sooner or later these parts will have to be healed. Don’t blame the soul you love because they play the part of  the catalyst for the defrost you are going through and the discomfort that you’re feeling. Instead put things in perspective, look at this situation as an opportunity and remind yourself that they’re just old wounds ready to be healed that spike your fear and discomfort. In case of doubt, get yourself professional help before you sabotage another relationship!

One thing I know is that ultimately we all live to love and be loved. The sooner you find the courage to heal and to choose love over fear, the more fulfilling the journey will be!

Inspirational II

 This is a great reminder for all of us! If you haven't read the book "The Prophet", I highly recommend it!
 More original posts are in the works. Hope you are staying centered during this time of intense energies.
If you are a bit confused it might be helpful to look up some planetary info on some astrology blogs!
One I like is called www.aquariumage.com.
Blessings,
Nicole

Kahlil Gibran on Love 

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

How Do You Love?

Love is such an over used word and concept. At the same time, it's probably the most important ingredient in our spiritual journey towards enlightenment.

I have seen a lot of issues that arise from misunderstood concepts of love.

First of all, lets look at different qualities within love.

Our enlightened goal of love is the ability to love unconditionally without attachments, yet with an open heart. Needless to say, most of us aren't there yet.

Love can be laced with neediness, light-projections, codependence, abandonment issues and past trauma etc… In that moment, we don't purely love the people around us for their sake, but from a selfish place; i.e. you think your life will be better/more fulfilled if you find the perfect partner. When you fall in love, these expectations will be projected onto your partner and conflict will arise when the person falls short in providing you with what you want.

The codependent approach makes you believe that if you just support the person enough, they will grow into the potential that you desire.

Light-projection (also read post on light and shadow projections) will tempt you to edit out any red flags and focus on what you want to see. Often times, these associations end up as train wrecks, where you might feel betrayed and utterly disappointed.

The needy prince/princess archetype makes you expect constant attention from your relationships. When they fall short or are too wrapped up in themselves, you will get angry and punitive. However, if someone asked you, you might say, "no I really love them!".

As you can see, it is important to examine the quality of love we feel and be honest if it is conditional or if it is laced with other emotions.

Some questions to ask yourself:

1. How punitive am I within my relationships?

2. Do you love the person for who they are today, or the potential you see once you have fixed them?

3. Do you feel the world owes you due to a prior heartbreak?

If  your answer is yes, do you feel like your current or future partner should make up for it?

4. Do you keep a part of your heart closed/unavailable because you are afraid to get too close?

5. How possessive and jealous are you?

Be honest with yourself and see if you can purify your love toward yourself and others.

 The other part is how do you express your love?!

Many popular love songs are based on a common mistake:

"I left my heart in Paris…!"

"I lost my heart to Rita, John, Susan, my country, the orphans…"

So, if you love from the place of giving part or all of you away, you will end up without that part when the person leaves or dies on you, oops. You will feel incomplete until next time you run into them, which could be lifetimes from now.

That is part of the reason why people don't recover well after certain break-ups.

The more evolved way of loving works as follows:

Look at your heart as a vessel. The love flows through it towards whom ever. There is no limit as to how much love flows through. The more you love the more you gain because the frequency of love is like energetic vitamins flowing through you. If the person moves away, you can still love them without losing any aspects of self. You keep your freedom and energetic independence, whether you are in a relationship or not.

If we give pieces of ourselves away we are limited to how many times we can love. The heart is like a pie, when you have given your last piece away, you are done.

If you approach your heart as a vessel, you are always able to channel an infinite amount of love for yourself and others (that includes puppies, plants locations, jobs etc).

 A good approach to practice the proper energetic love flow is chakra meditation.

In case you already gave your heart away, here is the good news:

You can get it back!!!

How?

Ask God/Divine Source/ your Angels and any other divinely aligned beings you work with to return all aspects of yourself from all time transformed and purified and reintegrate them into your being. Ask for all energies within yourself that had taken their space to be cleared from you in all time and all space to be transformed and purified with everything they have caused and created. Then send them back to their proper place in the Universe. And then give thanks!

As always, awareness is the first and most important step to take in order to improve any situation and condition.